Blog
3 September 2010
welcome to my empire of sloth…
the post-festival lurgy took me down last weekend and kept me bedridden for 3 days. i could have fought and kept working all dosed up and high on benadryl, but to be honest, i didn’t have a lotta fight left in me. this taking-over-the-world stuff is tiring. so, i lay in bed for 3 days watching seasons 1-4 of Buffy; season 3 of Chuck; and eating biscuits. my house badly needed some attention - dog hair was starting to form into big balls under my bed and mount attacks on stray passersby… and dishes just lay there unwashed. but for 3 glorious days i let myself not care. the only ‘work’ i did was emailing canadian venues and contacts for my tour next year - but i did that from my laptop whilst in bed, so it doesn’t really count. it was bliss. albeit bliss with a side of painful sinuses and lots of asthma medication. i’ll take it.
i reckon a bit of sloth was needed considering my hectic schedule of late. it took for me to get sick to slow down though - typical superwoman!
the canada tour is shaping up nicely. i was researching flight prices yesterday and came across a super cheap flight from paris to toronto on 23rd june 2011, which suits the first leg of my tour… so i bought it! ARGH! i get to go through Iceland, which is tres cool - might even head into Reykjavik as i have a spare 7 hours! I will be flying home about 4-5 weeks later from halifax, nova scotia - exactly where i am in between that is yet to be cemented! so exciting!
tell ya what though, dealing with foreign promoters both in canada and in france is super easy. compared to dealing with scottish/uk promoters that is. the canadian’s are being so frickin’ friendly and helpful i am blown away, and even the government officials that i am dealing with in france are going out of their way to help me. it’s mental. it really shows up what a bad attitude the UK has to music and culture. there is way too much ‘pay to play’ bullshit, and not nearly enough grassroots support of the arts. rant rant rant.
ok, the band only have 1 more gig before our november CD launch and tour, which is on 11th sept at Electric Circus… come along if you can. this month’s FREE fan exclusive track (for those on my mailing list - hint hint) is the wonderfully saccharin and filthy ‘CCTV’ - about a scorned lover who uses her wiles and the CCTV cameras to get back at her cheating lover. it’s ace. join my mailing list and download it for FREE!
it’s essay time again (last one before my exam), so i’m gonna spend the weekend catching up on 4 weeks of reading! and not watching buffy. nope. well, maybe a little.
xxx
L&L
hann.
**********************
27 August 2010
fears fuck with my raison d’etre. i should vacuum…
my brain is functioning like a skipping record at the minute. i am tired. the kind of tired you become after 2 years of insomnia - ragged and a little crazy. i can barely string a sentence together, let alone think coherantly enough to strategize my already crowded life. plus, there are donuts at work today, and i think i’m about to give myself diabetes cos i ate 2 in the space of 10 minutes… causing nifty eye spasms, heart palpatations, and the ability to write nothing but ambiguous blog titles…
it is upon this wave of sugar and exhaustion that i wrote to amanda palmer today. i have visions of wonderful late night boston cabarets with me, bitter ruin, and AFP storming it up. i know these are unlikely dreams - afp is well connected and probably has her gigs booked up already, but it’s worth a shot, right? i want to bring the joys of very small top hats and kazoos to the world. plus, i fancy a trip to boston (wanna see a ballgame too!)
please cross your legs for me.
taking over the world is tiring, and expensive… and i need a cuddle.
i missed seeing sxip shirey this festival. he has shows this weekend at the bongo club i *might* make it to. but by evening time i am often a blob just waiting for anything vaguely soporific to push me over the edge. i even bunked off a show i’d already bought a ticket for… which, given my current financial situation, is an unusual occurance for me - but i just simply didn’t have the energy. i should eat more fruit. i should look after myself more. meh. anyway, i digress (how unusual), go to sxip’s website here - www.sxipshirey.com
band practice tonight. street party gig tomorrow. day off on sunday (hopefully). gig on monday. web design meeting on tuesday. recording on wednesday and friday… oh, and i have another essay to write at some point. my eyes have started to mysteriously water… for no apparent reason. my tear ducts might be sad? or maybe they’ve come up with this ingenius plan cos it makes me close my eyes!? i am buoyed by little things - my mum coming over from canada to see us play at troubadour; discovering the magical ‘chilli fries’ at the chinese takeaway; grabbing 5 minutes to read some kerouac in between the brain stuff; and occasionally getting drunk with beautiful people.
man, what a whiney blog. shut the fuck up, hannah. you love being busy, you love the madness, you love the heartache, you love the plans, and you apparently also love speaking to yourself in the third person also. freak.
i blame the donuts. always blame the donuts.
if you’re not too appalled by my apparent lunacy, come see the band and i at this awesome night of theatrical rock at Electric Circus on 11th Sept, 7-10pm. Susanna Macdonald’s show ‘Experimentalista’ will wow you with quirky cabaret songs and innovative dancing; and Augustalia will bring out the big guns (and the small ukulele’s) to headline. Kat Angus and Collar Up also support. plus it’s only £4/3 in (£3 if you dress theatrically!). rawk!
love you like a donut.
xxx
hann.
**********************
23 August 2010
re-appreciation…
something i used to do a lot of, and kinda stopped doing outta sheer saturation, is going to other musician’s gigs around edinburgh. i used to immerse myself in the scene, appreciating everything for what it was, or what it could be, or just the effort put into it. but over time, and after running too many open mic nights, my shit-threshhold diminished, and i became unable to tolerate going to gigs… unless i knew it was gonna be great. i suppose at some point the shit outweighed the good stuff. but these things are subject to the ebb and flow of creativity in the town, and there is always good stuff to be found, you just have to be discerning… and open-minded. i suppose also that for quite some time now i have been too busy to even sleep, let alone pro-actively visit other musicians. my mind has been closed for good reason. but, in an effort to maintain relationships, to foster new ones, and to ensure my bitterness levels don’t peak, i have been hitting gigs on the edinburgh scene, and finding some re-appreciation for bands i dig. it’s about embracing the little moments of genius that you can, and maybe garnering some happiness outta that… a concept that i’d shut myself off from for quite some time.
last night i put on a ‘lady invasion’ at the Aragon Pub in Glasgow. it was fierce. in a really beautiful mellow kinda way. every performer made me smile. lisa rigby delivered her understated and gorgeous contemporary folk to a usually rowdy crowd, who shut the fuck up when confronted with the charms of her first song ‘the tinto hymn’ - honestly, i’ve never seen a pub shut up in awe so definitively before. ace. nicky carder followed with some hilarious in-between-song banter… dunno if she meant to be that funny, but it was a cool juxtaposition between her haunting vocals. then i donned a red rose (given to me by aragon regular, george), and rawked-out a little. my uke song ‘ode to lederhosen’ seems to be proving a favourite - which almost annoys me, because despite how valid i believe the song to be, and how much integrity sits behind it, i don’t want to fall into gimmick-land… i don’t want people to just want the funny stuff. but i suppose it gives an indication of what mass audiences might want. gimmicky baws. crap. oh well, all i can do is stand behind it and love it like any other musical love-baby i have created.
on saturday i went to the very tiny Captain’s Bar in Edinburgh to see Norman Lamont (and his invisible helpers). Norman is one of these performers that offers up something a little quirkier than the normal singer/songwriter stuff… a few yarns about things you’d never think to write about, a few animal puns, and a healthy dose of not taking yourself too seriously, mixed with a deep cohenesque vocal and some super catchy hooks. enter his ‘invisible helpers’ - james ‘trip hazard’ whyte on bass, sam barber on percussion, and mary robbs on fiddle, and you end up with something hella groovy. i wish i could’ve stayed for more… but alas i was destined to gig-hop that night… and off i went to Fanattica’s last gig at Henry’s Cellar Bar. which, for the record, was crazy! the balkans meets language assumptions and black humour in some kind of dirty-floored cellar-bar mash-up. a perfect send off to this weird-ass band.
i would give you all these performers myspace addresses etc, but really, just type their names into google, you lazy shits.
now, i don’t usually devote a whole blog to talking about other people - this is most unusual for me… but there’s just one last person i MUST talk about. responsible for the best show i’ve seen all festival, and a ragingly talented musician, and (i’m lucky to say it), friend… Lee Patterson’s one-off festival show at St Brides Acoustic Music Centre was simply phenomenal. with friends from the band Townhouse (a la Lisa Rigby), and also uber-talented muso Amy Duncan accompanying him in a most wonderful and understated way, Lee’s subtle genius and folk-bending rock blend stunned the audience. there were moments of pure rock and then there were moments that left your hairs all prickly and, for me, a fair amount of tears in my eyes. his song about his wife had me bawling… love it when people can talk that honestly through their music. Lee does what he does and delivers it in such an honest and understated way that you can’t help but believe in him… believe in his music… and want to know more. his little stories in between songs give you an idea about just how down to earth this guy is.
best. show. of. the. fest. period. go here - http://lpmusic.org.uk/
if i’ve been to one of your shows recently and haven’t mentioned you here, it is more than likely i am either doing it on purpose to make you have a tantrum, or have just forgotten in the flurry. take a fuckin’ chill pill and suck it up you petulant little artistes!
september is head-down, hard-out, mondo-exciting-album-recording madness month… so, i won’t be gigging much - except for a super exciting rock-cabaret show on 11th sept at Electric Circus (details to follow)… so, stay tuned for release dates for our first single - ‘foolish’. it will be mammoth.
now, i’m off to daydream about winning the lottery and being able to go see amanda fucking palmer emcee a production of cabaret in boston next month. one can wish, mein herr!
L&L you creepy wonderful little fuckers,
xxx
hann.
**********************
18 August 2010
my “masochistic intimacy and smashbroken infatuation with strangers”…
(title quote from AFP) dig it. completely get this artistic temperament. performance is a strange strange thing. and we nurture such wonderful catharses with these dysfunctional, yet highly fulfilling, relationships with utter strangers. it is part of our art to lay our souls on the line for the digestion of people we don’t even know. and d’ya know what? i reckon that might just be safer than doing it with people you do know… there’s something awfully safe about that void.
but excuse me for a minute, while i digress…
< tangent>
there ain’t nothing like having two opposing worlds collide when you least expect it. last night my single world collided with my ex married world and his mother. small interplanetary implosions occured… and i’m sure a fairy or two died. i pasted on my smile and got stuck into that inane chatter i foster when i’m nervous… and for a minute there it almost felt normal - the three of us going to a festival show together. but that boat has sailed; the gulf is wide; and nothing can bridge it anymore. even my pleasantries felt like they might be causing small catastrophies somewhere else in the universe. i didn’t burst into tears until i reached the car. it was a small victory.
i went home and played my very tiny piano.
i am a whole montage of fuck-ups. ’tis true. but no fuck-up haunts me like the failure of my marriage does. as someone who openly admits to having a superwoman complex, it’s really hard for me to fathom why i couldn’t make it work. i always forget the chaos factor - you can control your own actions, but not those of others. i probably could have done a few things differently myself, but it’s too late to change that now. i made my decisions the best i could at the time and that’s all i can really ask of myself.
every time i fuck up, fairies die. i’ve killed a lotta fairies. mourn the fairies, people… mourn them! 
< /tangent>
ok, i now have to tell you about the single most amazing musician you will see this festival - Nick Pynn. he is basically a one-man orchestra, and with the help of loopers, various other pedals, a foot bass, a viola, a violin, an appalachian dulcimer, a guitar, a mandocello, a cocolele, a theremin, some crystal glasses, and a bunch of other tricks he creates huge beautifully constructed orchestral pieces that make you melt not only at their sheer gorgeousness, but also at his awesome talent. as a musician, it is fascinating to watch his methods, and i am always in awe of his understated genius. i go to his show every fringe and it always blows my mind. seriously people, especially musicians - GO TO THIS SHOW - Nick Pynn every night at 22:00 at Inlingua on Hanover Street. or at least visit his website - http://www.nickpynn.co.uk/
i am playing Matt Midgley’s album launch tonight at the Phoenix Cellar Bar - should be a good night. we have a strange line-up of Matt’s favourite Edinburgh artists, so it sees myself team up with Aos Si and Jym Ponter too. but that’s the way of CD launches - they are at the whim of the main man! i like the line-up, even though musically it is a bit strange. i am also super looking forward to doing a completely unrehearsed cover of Portishead’s ‘glory box’ with Matt. it’s gonna have a kazoo solo and be SO full of win! doors are at 7:30pm - come if you are able. it’ll rage! if you can’t make it in person, try tuning into my live webcast (done from my iPhone, so might go terribly wrong) at - http://www.ustream.tv/channel/hannahmania
BOOM!
i heart you and your face just as much as i loathe you.
xxx
L&L
hann.
************************
16 August 2010
was it worth it?
morning, bitches.
as i flail in the space formally known as monday morning, but from now on to be dubbed - ‘hairy baw-sack day’… i am having conflicting feelings about saturday’s gig at McEwan’s Ale House. it was always gonna be a risk - i mean, it’s an old-man’s-pub turned acceptable student jaunt, where two worlds collide (and not always prettily), and where i was always either gonna be loved or loathed. i decided from the get-go that i wasn’t going to hold back - it’s the festival after all… and there’s only so much bullshitting one can do in one’s life before saturation point is reached and you just stop diggin’ the game… y’know?!
so, in i walked in my corset and teensy wee top hat… to sighs of ‘oh dear’, and ‘uh oh’. good start, huh? i was blessed with the attendance of a fair few friends during the first set, so that warmed the place up a bit. but what really warmed things up was the rapid consumption of jack daniels. yesss. i was in a fine mood and was having an especially nice time mocking annoyingly loud gentlemen at the bar, for the amusement of the rest of the audience, and well, mainly just for my own amusement really. you get it where you can. by the end of the set i reckon i’d converted a fair few patrons, and there were no ‘boos’, so i reckon things were good. however, people were starting to get drunk. and drunk people are tactless, impatient, and rude… so poor Andy had to deal with some of the worst of it. i had asked him to join me cos he is the king of decent popular covers - stuff that usually appeases an audience if they don’t fancy the originals stuff that i do. however, for some unknown reason, this crowd actually preferred me over him (unusual, i can tell you)… and gave him a pretty hard time. to which he responded with ‘i’m gonna get wasted and insult them’. and he did. it was marvellous.
i spared him from the old-man heckling by doing a longer second set… allowing him extra time to get reacquainted with jack. it was only fair, i had organised this weird-ass gig after all!
when in doubt, be yourself.
so i was. i began set no.2 with Valium Country (aka ‘the orgasm song’), just to see how bendy those boundaries were. the poor old dears coped with it really well, and a renewed (yet also drunk) crowd had gathered for a beating. what a strange mix of folk - old regulars, festival-goers, plus weird cabaret fans. surreal. thanks to Sonia for making a few requests - it’s always nice to have someone in the audience who knows your back catalogue (once again, i had not thought to write a set list!). everything was dandy up until the point i sang ‘lick up your daughters’. now, i always knew this one would cause a stir. it all came about cos i misheard someone say ‘lock up your daughters’, and the mishap made me giggle. it’s funny how i tiny wee vowel can change a sentence so distinctly! now, the song itself is not about licking anything - let alone anything dodgy and gross… it’s actually about black humour, misconceptions, and mindfucks - how people can miss the point and misunderstand you.
and whaddya know - people missed the point and misunderstood me. i gave people too much credit when i wrote that song. it was a good experience though, as i got to see what audience reactions could be like. it ranged from horror, disgust and in one case, a stranger just yelled to me ‘you’re better than that, hannah’. hahaha. love it. so, am thinking of forgoing the introduction to that song and just letting people assume i’m pronouncing ‘lock up’ incorrectly… unless i have already established an audience’s capacity for A FUCKING JOKE / tolerance for filth!
lucky for me, i was able to win them back by going all girly and introverted singer/songwritery for the next couple of tunes. it’s amazing how playing that girl-with-a-guitar-and-something-deep-and-meaningful-to-say bullshit totally turns people to butter. no wonder so many stupid, vapid, petite, ‘pretty’ singer songwriters do so well. by the end of the set i reckon i had won people over in general. i reckon the kazoos and self-deprecating banter may have helped. no body came and punched me in the face, so i can’t've offended people that badly. i gotta say a huge thank you to Matt Norris at this point, for staying all night to sound engineer/pack up/give me funny looks etc. you’re ace. dig.
audience members (and rather cool family unit) Ian, Katty, and Robbie then took me out for more drinks. and much philosophical debate ensued - mainly about art/ performance/ integrity/ remaining grounded amongst the bullshit. sweet. then, in my drunken haze, i lost those guys, and stumbled into the royal oak to end the night. to be honest, i don’t remember the specifics of too much after leaving McEwan’s… so please feel free to regale me with stories of how amusing i was doing x, y, and z in x, y, and z locations! i do remember getting a lift home with lou-lou bell, so thank’s babe!
so, the question is, was it worth it? yeah, course it was… even if only for the fact that i got to dress up, challenge some misconceptions, scare (or scar) a few oldies, and get drunk. although, the hangover hit me at about 7pm on sunday evening… and, as a whole room full of people at the banshee labyrinth can attest to, i looked like death. but, nah, it was still worth it.
quote of the night has got to be from the crazy lady sitting to the right of the stage - ‘hannah, come to the ladie’s with me and swap clothes - i want your corset!’. grins.
remember folks, if i gave a shit about what you think, i’d have stopped performing a long time ago.
L&L
xxx
hannah.
**********************
13 August 2010
conversations with ‘break’…
my head is full of conversations. pretend conversations with imagined people, pretend conversations with real people, conversations with songs, conversations with ideas. I don’t often think in a linear manner, it is almost always a tangential debate with myself as i try to identify all the possible outcomes. the most common one is my odd digestion of songs… i almost always construct a conversation with the song in my head… and often end up creating a song based on that conversation. people often ask me what inspires me musically, and i find it hard to answer - but i suppose that should be my answer - it is my own reactions to songs and the made-up conversations in my head that inspire my writing. yeah, yeah, it’s all about me, i know!
ok, upon re-reading that, i sound fuckin’ nuts. ;-/
is it any wonder i rely so heavily on my diary and iphone to organise me?!
organisation for the Augustalia album launch/ tour is going well - we have confirmed both Matt Midgley and The Dull Fudds as support for our launch party on november 18th; we are booked to play Secret CDs in edinburgh on 1st december, and to headline the Troubadour Club in london on 3rd december, and i am looking for a gig on the 4th somewhere like bristol or birmingham or newcastle to make the weekend worthwhile. am also looking to head north for a weekend too - so watch out aberdeen and inverness! i have spent some dosh on merchandise - kazoos, badges, stickers, magnets etc in readiness, and have grand plans to do more touring in feb/mar next year with the band before i head to canada to do my solo tour in june/july. life is crazy-busy-madness, and i love it. my iphone ‘2-do’ app is getting a thrashing.
oh, and at somepoint between then and now we also have to record the album. d’oh!
then there’s the minor point of not being able to actually afford any of this. if anyone fancies helping us by buying a pre-order copy of the album (comes with free exciting extras that no one else will get), head to the website homepage (www.hannahoreilly.com) for details.
oh, yes, there was a point to this blog. sorry, i got lost. conversations. yes. i wanna put together an album of my conversation songs… there are a lot of them. that means that on top of the two albums i’m releasing this year, there is also ‘the elemental angel’ album (written in 2004); ’six percent’ (2008); and now ‘conversations with break’ too. * le sigh * too many albums, not enough time. oh well, they will find their way out eventually… even if i just give them away…
sorry, this blog is shite. i can’t think straight. never can on essay-hand-in-day - it fries my brain. it had the potential to be awesome, but i fucked it up. forgive me. or not. i won’t know.
two gigs this week!
- Saturday 14th August - McEwans Ale House - South Clerk St, Edinburgh - 10pm
- Wednesday 18th August - Phoenix Cellar Bar - Broughton Street - 6.30pm
(see gig page for more info on each)
i.
am.
so.
fucking.
…
(temptation to leave sentence there)
…
…
slayed.
and wise.
and old.
and just a little wrinkly.
and excited for the months to come.
…
teapigs give me strength….
xxx
L&L bitches
hann.
**********************
11 August 2010
why is ‘alone’ such a bad thing?
a series of strange and overdue events lead me to this rumination. i have finally been set adrift by my peu ancre, in a way that is not scary and desolate (as has happened in the past), but in a liberating and empowering way - the way he should have done it a long time ago. i am free now. but to do what? perhaps i am now free to be alone, instead of filling my spaces with him. i don’t think ‘alone’ is as depressing a notion as people make out. to quote a wise-ass rockstar - “i simply could not FATHOM relinquishing the luxury of being gloriously and passionately alone” - AFP. can i get an amen on that one? ‘alone’ is not the absence of others, but the singular presence of you.. solitude is not a scary thing. i think being single scares people cos it goes against what we are elementally here to do - mate, procreate, die. if we skip the procreate bit, and only mate sporadically - god throws a tantrum. or so we are conditioned to believe.
hehehe, now i’m stuck on the image of god throwing a tantrum. this is, of course, the caricature version of ‘god’ that i have in my head… kinda like the Buddy Christ from the movie Dogma.
‘love is kindred to art, it is inexplicable’ - Rabindranath Tagore
on an entirely unrelated issue… i was at an open mic night the other day and due to the ugly sounding house-guitar i chose to sing acapella instead. i was then dismissed as a ‘diva’ by the host. now, this was initially said in jest, however it was then said again, and i snapped. i mean seriously snapped. so what? i didn’t fancy using a guitar that sounded pish - i wanted to present my music in the best possible light… i did not complain about the guitar, i just didn’t use it… i still sang, and still enjoyed myself. AND i had attended that particular open mic from its inception - supporting it when not many others were. HOW exactly does this constitute diva behaviour? i suppose i snapped because, aside from the hard-graft i’ve done on the Edinburgh music scene over the last 7 years, this past week i have done 25 hours of music admin, written a song, attended 4 open mic nights, done 3 weeks worth of uni reading, attended 7 fringe shows, been to machar granite’s last gig, and not to mention held down my day-job. i am one of the hardest working musicians on the Edinburgh circuit. yes, i may occasionally duck into an open mic and not being able to stay very long; yes, i may choose not to use house equipment sometimes (not only does it not do justice to my music, but also because it makes the experience of singing unpleasant for me); and yes, i may joke about about being a diva sometimes… but the thought that people might actually believe this makes me boak. seriously, if i thought i was ‘above doing open mics’ or ‘too good to stay and listen’, then i wouldn’t bother attending open mics at all. it’s FUCKING BULLSHIT!
one thing that absolutely enrages me about this country is the fuckin’ tall poppy syndrome people have. always cutting people down. confidence is deemed as arrogance; success = a signal to ‘bring them down a peg or two’. if you think that i don’t deserve the gigs i’m getting, or to take pride in my work, and enjoyment out of my successes, then tell me why - give me a rational argument. after all, i am all for constructive criticism. but if you just find yourself with nothing better to do that decapitate my confidence, i suggest you fuck off, cos next time i won’t argue with you, i’ll fucking chop your head off.
FUCK IT!
ok, now to celebrate a BIG FUCK-OFF SUCCESS - my frickin’ awesome band Augustalia have been invited not only to play, but to headline, the legendary Troubadour Club in Earl’s Court, London. that’s right, folks… on friday 3rd december 2010 we will rock this joint! bob dylan, jimi hendrix, joni mitchell, paul simon, jamie t, morcheeba + more have played here… and we are seriously lucky to get a headline gig straight up without having to jump through the usual hoops. NOW - here’s where YOU can help… we need to get 25 people through the door to make sure we leave the right impression with the promoters… so, if you live in london, have friends in london, or wanna visit london - PLEASE COME ALONG! we will love you long time, and shower you with kisses and free merchandise!
if you wanna see a great and unusual fringe show, go see my maniac friend susanna’s show ‘experimentalista’ - 8.50pm every night at sweet suites at the Apex Grassmarket. seriously, it’s weird and fuckin’ awesome. GO!
ok, off to do more band admin… and a ukulele ed fringe photoshoot (don’t ask). alone? what’s that… i’m too busy to be alone. pffffffffffffftt!
xxx
L&L
hann.
**********************
6 August 2010
dear mania…
“dear mania,
thank you for visiting me during this years fringe festival. the speed at which you make my brain work, the unrelenting wakefulness, and the delusion that i am invincible are all useful things when trying to conquer the edinburgh fringe. i am writing today to plead with you not to bugger off like you usually do after a couple of days/weeks (leaving me precarious and on your raggedy edge). could you possibly stick around until september instead so that i have a hope in hell of surviving this festival?! love-you-longtime-ten-dollar-sucky-sucky, x hannah.”
i nearly walked in front of a bus yesterday… in my current state i just assumed that the beast would stop. the manic bits have their downsides, sure. smirks.
it is day two of the edinburgh fringe fest and i have seen 4 shows already, and played twice. it’s gonna be a looong festival. i attended The List launch party last night, armed with my trusty ‘dig it - www.hannahoreilly.com’ stamp (no humans were harmed in the use of this stamp, but many boobs were branded). it’s at events like this that you realise how small edinburgh is - i seemed to know everyone. there were a fair few folk who seemed to know me, but i had no recollection of them… this is a good thing, no? smirks. i had the pleasure of hanging out some wonderful friends - Rosa Marnie (The Ratsinger, 23-27 Aug @ Eric Liddell Centre, Bruntsfield), Marc Marnie, Debbie Hannan (Theatre Paradok), Kat Woods, Donald Mutch, Jon Pleased-Wimmin, Lord Holyrood, Tom Kat, Gypsy Charms, Julie-ann (Blonde Ambition Events), and the rest of the cast of Vive la Cabaret (on every day at Pleasance @ The Ghillie Dhu at 9.30pm). if i’ve forgotten anyone, it’s because i’m a self-involved misanthrope who simply doesn’t expend that much energy on remembering folk. grins. i love you all, really
*** EXCITING NEWS ***
i have booked the Augustalia album launch for 18th November at the Voodoo Rooms (speakeasy) - woot! ‘Hannah O’Reilly presents Augustalia - It’s Never Too Late To Ask For Your Knickers Back’ will be officially launched (although a single will hopefully be out by october). i am terribly excited. i love this venue, and i adore how the album is sounding so far - and we are only half done! Matt Midgley will be one of the support acts on the night, and we will have one other band - for only £4 (£7 for CD, or £10 for entry + CD). bargain! please purchase a pre-sale or bundle if you wanna help us out - you’ll be rewarded with very special pre-sale-only treats! x
once again, my indulgence in the world of music/having fun/a life has hindered my capacity to study effectively, and my next deadline is friday 13th august! a lucky day for me usually, so i am determined to hand my assignment on time! unfortunately this means catching up on 4 weeks reading in one day. so, saturday - you are mine. i will ensconce myself in the metropole grand cafe, ply myself with coffee and nachos, and study ALL day. although i do have a ticket for the pleasance press launch tomorrow… hmmm… #studyfail.
grrr… there are entirely too many capital letters in this blog. damn names/dates/people! on that note, i’m gonna go get me some pro-plus (i heart thee).
rawk. dig it.
xxx
L&L
hann.
**********************
2 August 2010
augustalia album pre-sales!
funny how spending more and more time in an asylum can actually make one feel less crazy
i don’t know if that’s how it works in real life, but the recording process for my bands’ first release is super-relaxing. i think it’s a mixture of the environment (an extraordinary old manor house in the scottish borders, that used to be an asylum), the laid-back folks in my band (quincy - drums/sound engineering, gash - bass, & ade - guitar), and just a smidgen of apathy on my part
i have no money to pay for this album - we are relying solely on generosity, entrepreneurship, the occasional fee, and (if necessary) selling our bodies to the highest bidder - so, i have set up a pre-sale paypal button for augustalia’s debut album ‘it’s never too late to ask for your knickers back’ - due out (with or without your help) in november 2010!
the bundles are as follows -
- Augustalia album (’it’s never too late to ask for your knickers back’) only - £7
- Signed album - £10
- Signed album + name printed on liner notes - £25 (limit of 20, must be purchased prior to Oct 1st 2010)
- Signed album + snog from Hannah - £50 (limited to 1 snog, UK residents only)
- Magnifico bundle - £50 = Signed album + name on liner notes + one-off Augustalia artwork (limit of 5)
- Augustalia artwork only - £25 - one-off A4 Augustalia artwork, painted by members of the band (limit of 5)
(PLEASE NOTE : THESE ARE PRE-SALES AND WON’T BE SHIPPED UNTIL NOVEMBER)
(if by any chance these pre-sales expedite things, we will send the pre-orders out in early (say, october), and still not release the album officially til november - just to make you guys feel special!)
basically, you guys are helping us get this shit released. we will find a way to do it without your help, if you are too poor or tight that’s ok, but essentially, these pre-sales will help us with the mastering + manufacturing of the album. we are doing everything else ourselves - recording, sound engineering, production, photography, artwork, publicity, etc are all being done either by members of the band or by helpful friends/family.
as you can see, i have resorted to incentives of all kinds - from liner notes mentions to one-off artworks… plus one lucky person can purchase a signed album + a snog from me - that’s right folks, i am whoring myself for my art!
to be honest, i’ll be kinda sad if no one buys this one
if nothing else, please just buy a pre-sale CD - your £7 will help us out enormously. i will probably also include little goodies when i post them too
luff you long time!
xxx
hann
**********************
29 July 2010
i heart thee.
i fall in love with inanimate objects, concepts and ideas a lot. like, seriously IN LOVE. i feel it’s a more healthy use emotion than falling for men who ain’t worth my time! for instance - if i could marry my iPhone, i probably would.
just now, i am in love with the following things…fresh pineapple; my new Augustalia music video; reading henry miller in the bath; my shure sm58 microphone; and the concept of sleep. yes, i said ‘the concept of sleep’. don’t question the insomniac. i am also in love with the concept for my new solo album…
it has been through many incarnations already, even though the songs are decided upon - it is the overall concept, packaging, message that i have been evolving. unlike the band album that i am also working on, my solo album will be raw - both emotionally and in regards to production values. it will be accompanied by a six-part vignette, and be titled ‘the avant-guardian’, and the only liner note will be - ‘this album is the scraps, the rags, the love… it is my bones, and my heartbeat. it does not exist because of me, i exist because of it. so, do not walk away sad, brim with the hope that only the broken can muster. to my muse, my avant-guardian - i love you’. it is a gesture of completeness, a reminder of my restlessness, a nod to the lunatics, a hats-off to those who understand us. it is as close to the bone as my art will ever come. for those qualities i am very proud. it is also very self-indulgent, but i don’t mind that at all. smirks.
you’ll probably all hate it.
hah!
i suppose it comes back to the defining point. i create art for me, and me alone. the fact that i am putting in the effort to share it with you is my rare act of humanitarianism. i think there will be people out there that’ll dig it - and so, i deliver it to you. i am not making it for you - always remember that. if you connect with it, then good-goddamn-that-is-awesome! if not, then that is ok too. i would love you to love it - to find something in it that makes your heart beat faster, for it to make you remember a lost love, or a moment that doesn’t have a soundtrack yet. not because i want to make you cry, or because i want to enjoy the accolades, but because i would love to know that my art isn’t just released - that it has a destination… even if that destination is just one person.
i am lucky enough to be recording the band album in an old haunted house in the borders - an ex-asylum, we are recording in the attic rooms which still have the kids bunks intact. it is eerie and calming, and there is an amazing creative energy about the place. whenever i’m there i feel chilled out, re-energized, and completely in-love with my music, and this house. it’s like a conduit for all the history pent up in the walls - outta the walls and into the Augustalia album… ace!
plus, i kinda dig hanging out in an asylum. smirks.
at this juncture, i must thank gary ‘gash’ anderson, my bassist and proprietor of said house (plus mandy and kids) for letting us inhabit your home - we love it - it will be immortalised in the liner-notes, rockumentary, and in our hearts (sarcastic smirk) forever more
i want to run away from my life and ensconce myself in the attic, with painting supplies, recording equipment, the ghosts, and a stack of miller, kerouac, and burroughs…
hah! one can dream.
festival time is about to be upon us here in edinburgh - so if you’re about, come and see me play at the following gigs (see gig page for details) -
- Saturday 14th August - McEwans Ale House - South Clerk St, Edinburgh - 10pm
- Wednesday 18th August - Phoenix Cellar Bar - Broughton Street - 6.30pm
right, i am having a night off tonight - first evening with no commitments in a whole fuckin’ month! i will no doubt be tempted to write a song or edit a music video or start booking the canada tour… but i will attempt to refrain from such frivolity, in favour of vegetating in front of bad tv with a pile of junk food. sounds like a plan, no?
love you xxx
hann
**********************
23 July 2010
do i know what i know? bring the serial killers!
do you ever wake up and feel like your life has this crazy unstoppable forward momentum… and that it feels like an impossible challenge to slow it down at all… and that it’s quite possible that you are finding it increasingly difficult to even connect with your own life, your own force, and this fucking bizarre, amazing, crazy, manic, tumultuous, cathartic, sublime, heartwrenching situation you’ve made for yourself?
no? well, that’s how i felt this morning. that’s how i’ve been feeling for a while now. crazy and disconnected. as usual i am not entirely convinced that my disconnection isn’t just a symptom of my unbalanced chemicals, cos its just sitting at that mildly inconvenient stage and isn’t rendering me useless like it sometimes does… but upon analysing it further i think that maybe my hectic schedule of uni, work, and music is just reaching sonic boom in my head. and being unable to cope with the cacophony, i am just tuning out. even as i type, i have this weird nerve twitch behind my eye. my eye has a heartbeat. perhaps my eye is trying to leave my head. if i were my eye, i would totally want to leave my head right now. it is full. ouch.
as my heart leaves the building, the shell of hannah keeps trucking on - i have this strange little ritual where i put my rejuvenating serum on (a sign of my advancing years) and stare at myself in my little wooden box mirror each morning… trying to figure out who i am today, who i need to be in order to continue paying my bills, and trying to connect to this face, this flesh to whatever part of me i need to utilise today. sometimes it takes me 30 seconds. other times it can take 30 minutes. by then i’m running late and this quasi-meditation ends in futility.
i am late a lot.
in fact, it is a musician quality that i loathe and have, up til now, been great at avoiding. but recently i am finding myself being the late one, the last one to soundcheck, the one that sleeps through appointments, the last one to band practice… always rushing into the room in a fluster. being late is not a comfortable situation for me. yet, i am finding myself being super-excellent at tardiness these days. i think it’s because for about 3 months now, my insomnia has been super bad. i think i’m kinda used to living on 3-5 hours of sleep a night. i feel like shit, but i’ve had to get used to it, cos if i didn’t, i’d take that final leap into all-out lunacy. when i sleep i sleep deeply - like the dead. and occasionally i get 6-8 hours and i wake up feeling thankful, yet my body feels like crap - it feels like a hangover, only i’m barely drinking at the moment. sleep-fail.
what i don’t get though, is how i am still functioning… and more to the point, how am i still functioning so highly? i got 88% for my last uni assignment. it was 10 days late, but i still slayed it. how is this possible? i’m starting to think that maybe we do live in a giant matrix and that my computer generated brain is just having awesome uni-slaying ability dreams. i don’t know what’s real anymore. i don’t know what i want specifically. i only know the general stuff. i am too tired, too busy, too manic, too full to know the minutae.
i know i want to finish and slay this degree that i’m doing (humanities honours degree with art history, for those who care)… i know i want to get a ‘distinction’ average every year. i know i wanna live in paris one day. i know i want to sing and release both my band album and my solo album this year. i know i want to play music to those who listen and ‘get me’, and i know i want to convert a few cynics in the process. but i also know that i want to spend more time walking my dog in beautiful places, more time seeing long-neglected friends, and more time talking to my mum, dad, and brother on the phone. aside from that, i don’t know what i want. a girlfriend asked me the other day if i was in the market for a boyfriend/relationship. i couldn’t answer. i don’t know. i don’t think it works like that anyway. i don’t think you just decide one day that you want a boyfriend and then go about finding one… or do you? all i know is the elemental stuff - i am an awesome human that is too much for most men; i get lonely sometimes and wish i had a fellow human strong enough for me; i like being on my own too; but i also like kissing. i know my elements are paradoxical. if i ever found someone who’s brain turned me on and that kissed like a mofo, then yes, maybe i would want a bf. but then i reckon i would sabotage things anyway by assuming that that person didn’t want me back - hell, it’s happened too many times for me not to have a complex about it. one day, maybe, i will find someone who wants me as much as i want them. but that kind of balance in my life doesn’t seem to be a regular thing. so i won’t hold my breath.
i know that what i know is a transient thing. i will probably want something different tomorrow. fact.
i am excited to announce a gig on 18th august with another mad musician - matt james is releasing his long awaited album ‘cyan’ on wednesday 18th august at phoenix cellar bar - myself, aos si, and jym ponter will be supporting and heckling, and i will wear something pretty or weird, and maybe play a uke. i will show you a little bit of my soul, be gentle with it, or whip it - i don’t mind either way. just listen. i love you and loathe you in equal measure, my dear audience.
i also have a faux-festival gig at mcewans ale house in edinburgh during the fringe (14th august 10pm-1am)… and it’s FREE, so please, come and help make this old-man’s pub a raging torrent of underground quirk rock music lovin’. please bring lesbians, serial killers, polka-dots, funny hats, bad attitudes, opiates, and don’t forget your kazoos!
love & laudanum, from amidst this muddle.
xxx
hann.
***********************
19 July 2010
slayed. it.
3 days, 3 gigs, a whole bunch of slaying!
given my disposition last week, i did wonder how likely it was that i’d manage the weekend’s schedule without some kind of breakdown, but lucky for me my age-old ‘fixes’ did the job and my chemicals behaved themselves! tea-pigs yerba mate tea, glittery eye-shadow, and a bit of ‘faking it’ did the trick
friday’s mission was to kick music-butt at The Lot in the grassmarket, edinburgh. so, i donned the corset, put clown-quantities of blue glitter eye-shadow on, and stepped up to the plate. Colin Maker took some video footage of me, and Al Goold took some pics - so i’ll put those online shortly. three cups of tea-pigs tea beforehand helped shift my insubordinate brain into a good space for playing, and then the audience, which was simply wonderful, made playing an absolute dream.
big thank you’s go out to catherine + pals for attending, donning polka-dots, and for requesting ‘the orgasm song’ (they got a private show in the stairwell after the gig. grins)… thanks also to the drunken lassies from work who heckled me the whole way through - without you, my banter wouldn’t have been half as good and to the rest of the audience for being awesome and swell and for sacrificing your friday night to the gig-gods. we salute you!
a very sober hannah left the lot that evening with the intention of going straight home to write an essay… but i got distracted (as i so easily do - ‘ooh, shiny’!) and ended up at the McEwan’s open mic night… good thing too, as i’ve now organised to play there on 14th August in a faux-festival show
then distracted by double-entendre flirting, my evening didn’t end until 5am - oops.
waking to a double-entendre hangover, which may i say, bares striking resemblence to a real hangover, i then had to organise my shit to head to the Rowchester Music Festival in Greenlaw. needless to say i was a bit useless, but lucky for me i had a chauffeur/bodyguard/roadie for this trip - so didn’t have to drive, carry anything, or look after myself. sweet deal, thanks for your expert crew services, michael!
my ensemble for rowchester was a checked shirt, jeans, and a mini-top hat. i was going for cabaret-cowgirl-chic. smirks. i played the acoustic stage at 4.40pm and slayed it. seriously, it was such a blast… it was sunny and lovely, so i shuffled the PA outside the tent and performed amongst the hay bales to an awesome crowd who were more than up for singing along - so i threw in two made-up on the spot acapella numbers in there for a laugh and brought out the kazoo too! thanks to the crazy drunk audience for making my first day at rowchester so ace!
the evening was spent drinking cider and listening to the other bands which included The Warehouse Announcement, Jakil, and the most fabulous Dull Fudds… i heart thee and i heart cider on a sunny day.
passing out some time around 3am after a weird middle-of-nowhere jam session, more double-entendre texting, and some drunken chat with randoms, i woke to the call of ‘good news hannah, fried-pig-rolls are served in half an hour’… outstanding!
the organisers kept telling me how great i was, so over breakfast i joked - ‘you should totally put me on the main stage today’… then michael stepped into manager-mode briefly and negotiated my appearance on the main stage! ace! so, at 11.30am i opened the second day of rowchester music festival - the only acoustic act to be promoted to the main stage, and the only purely solo act to play the main stage! i win! it was awesome, we were all hungover, but the audience was brilliant and it was such a pleasure to have such great sound (thanks to pfl audio for that!).
CONSIDER. IT. SLAYED!
upon getting off stage, i collapsed in a heap, and didn’t move for 3 hours. so rock n’ roll, i know thanks to Leonard and family for putting on such a great wee event - long may it continue.
bless my iphone, as it allowed me to book 3 august gigs whilst sitting in a field - check out my gigs page at www.hannahoreilly.com
xxx
L&L
Hann
**********************
15 July 2010
oh apathy, forsake me!
i should be writing an essay on avant-garde art right now. then again, i’ve been saying that for two weeks - the week it was actually due, and now in the second week of extension. but alas i have encountered that evil road-block that renders me useless and apathetic… depression. it has swung hard this time and i am struggling to even find an ounce of inclination to write this. yesterday i didn’t even get out of bed. can i hear a hallelujah for flex-time at work? hellz yess!
i am remembering my passion and drive to get a distinction in my second year of uni as a distant notion… i am remembering the desire to maintain my 80% average, yet i don’t feel it… it’s like i’m watching a movie and don’t care about the outcome. i want to feel mad at the idea that i might well be throwing away my uni grades, but i can’t even manage that. i’ve got nothin’, zip, nout, nadda.
at least my cynical and sarcastic tone hasn’t changed then. smirks. and no, i’m not actually smirking, cos that’d infer that i actually had the ability to give a shit right now.
here’s hoping i get some feeling back in these pins n’ needled chemicals by tomorrow. come on brain, i have a gig to do… gigs require heart. otherwise audiences will see my void, and lord help them, they don’t need that shit. surely i can muster some fake anger or something from somewhere? i’m good at faking it. all depends on whether by tomorrow i care enough to.
oh apathy, forsake me!
in this stark and abandoned wilderness that is my mind right now, i have had the most wonderful tumbleweed ideas… of starting the next dadaist revolution, of wiping the slate clean, of joining an anarchic circus… of just walking away. i am restless, as i often am. but i will wade through this life that i have designed and sometimes i won’t care, and sometimes i will… and only a few will ever notice. unless i shove care-less blogs down their throats. i will write songs that make it look like i care, but in the end folk’ll realise they are just pieces in my selfish opus. i don’t really care about any of you. but please, if you connect with me or my music, hold tight… if it elicits something out of you, protect that feeling like carrion on a carcass. cos i would give anything to be able to feel it too.
tomorrow or next week or next month i will be feeling too much again. yelling at my brain to shut the hell up and looking crazy. and i might remember a little piece of this apathy… if i remembered to care enough to… and i’ll mourn the loss of this nothingness. but i’ll be going too fast to dwell on it for long. who needs apathy when you are superwoman? cynic to superwoman in a single bound.
and so it goes. i am determined to blog even when in these slumps, simply so that the picture you have of me isn’t missing the very attributes that sustain my musicianship. it doesn’t define me, but by hell it certainly rocks this artistic boat.
ok, i’m off to eat sushi. sushi will fix everything. smirks.
L&L
xxx
Hann
**********************
7 July 2010
rock. hard place. paradox…
i’ve been thinking… (i know, i know, i should just stop that nonsense!) about ‘reputation’… and how a performers’ reputation might influence their private life in a profound way. case in point - moi!
i don’t think it takes long to figure out that i have a distinct persona that is associated with my performance, an amplification of me if you will… that is usually the first thing you encounter when you meet me. i also don’t think it takes long to figure out that you can poke holes in said persona and find the ‘real me’ pretty fuckin’ easily. in fact, just listen to my fuckin’ songs and you’ll have me pegged. if you are smart enough to wade through the verbosity, mind. hah, can you tell i’m riled up over this?
i mean, fair enough, i’m pretty skilled at hiding parts of me that i don’t want seen… after all, i’ve been hiding the ’skinny hannah’ underneath these curves for years. smirks. but really, it doesn’t take much to break down my walls… performance is, by nature, the act of being vulnerable… so once again, i inhabit this paradoxical space - with the creation of this veneer that i must both maintain and break down in equal measure, completely in the public eye. i am careful not to allude to this ‘persona’ as being something fake… to ensure i refer to it as an amplification of me, rather than a mask, because this is true - it is a real part of me, it is not a falsehood… and i am pretty damn staunch on this point.
whilst most people pick up on this concept, and either call me on it, or accept it as part of me… the ramifications of this are much harder to measure, and also to recognise. and it is people’s subconscious reactions to my performing persona that i am addressing today…
even though my persona is an amplification of me, it is an unrealistic version - she takes what i have deep down in me and gives it power. as a result i am often empowered to do things i wouldn’t have had i not developed this. but on the flipside, this unrealistic and unsustainable ‘me’ is often what people base their judgements on.
then again, when that is all i offer people, can i really blame them?
well, yes i can, because i’d hope that people work on a higher level of awareness than ‘dumbass’, and would prefer to think that people have some modicum of intelligence, and rationality… oh, wait… THAT is where i’m going wrong… people really do judge a book by its cover. and in my case, people who have had the opportunity to know better, still make this fatal mistake.
well, perhaps it isn’t ‘fatal’… but it’s pretty retarded. although, it might be fatal if the resulting behaviour pisses me off too much. grins.
take, for example, relationships. i have noted two very distinct trends - 1. men often assume that i’m a slut because of my flirtatious stage demeanour… and 2. men who find ‘the slut’ an attractive concept, often can’t reconcile the vulnerable and ‘normal’ side of me. rock. hard place. paradox. those two themes are then simplified further to - ‘bound to cheat on me’, and the ever-enlightened - ‘boring’.
let us explore option 1 further - i suppose it’s ok for an audience member, a complete stranger, to think that I’m a bit of a ho, given some of my songs, and my outrageously flirtatious behaviour when i’m out. i can totally handle that, and will either respond with a slap, or partake in a bit of slutty behaviour if the mood doth take me. however, when your (then) boyfriend turns around and accuses you of being a slut simply cos of that flirty reputation, it becomes another matter altogether. in the latest dressing down i had to dish out my response was simple - ’so, how many people have you slept with?’, ‘oh, i dunno, about 50′… ‘well then, this ’slut’ you are going out with has slept with a whole bunch less than that, so get off your big fat high horse, arsehole!’. hrumph! more subtly though, it is the insecurities that people have that lead them to not trust you, and because the weight of this reputation hangs like the sword of damocles over their heads… this lack of trust is impossible to get over. no matter how much you love them, no matter how faithful you are, no matter how much you end up altering your behaviour and by default, altering yourself, you cannot fix someone else’s insecurities. case in point - my marriage. and that, my friends, is the fucking tragedy for me. i wonder, on a relatively regular basis - did my need to perform ruin my marriage? i mean - would you trust me with your heart? no? i didn’t think so…
now for the flipside - the rare men who actually dig the outrageous performer in me present me with a completely opposite scenario… if it’s the thrill, excitement, and challenge that attracts them, what happens when i show them the rest of me? the part of me that foregoes nights out in order to do uni work, the me that gets up early on a sunday morning and goes walking with the dog completely unwashed and often still partly in my pyjamas (no corset, no top hat, no make-up), the part of me that wants to use my brain for intelligent debate rather than for overt sexual game-playing… or the ‘me’ that just wants to watch crap t.v. and be completely un-rock’n'roll. oh, but even worse than that, what if i don’t want to have ‘fantasy sex’ with you… what if i want old-fashioned-man-on-top-pyjama-sex with you? and even more abhorrent… what if i cry!?!
is it any wonder i end up falling for men who, in essence, don’t give a shit? i’d rather someone feel nothing, than burden me with the impossible scenarios above. and even though i know there are people out there who are capable of appreciating every facet of me… what i’ve come to realise over the years is that they are few and far between.
in the end, i might be a crazy loon of a performer, but is it too much to ask to just have a nice boyfriend too? perhaps one that likes a little bit of both sides of the hannah-coin. and maybe, just maybe, gives a shit.
remember - feel free to judge me, but don’t be surprised if you get an essay in response. smirks. hope to see some of y’all at my gig at The Lot on Friday 16th July. BOOM!
L&L
xxx
Hann
**********************
5 July 2010
i wish…?
my head was so far up my own arse on saturday night that i forgot to do a few important things… including singing mr martin lennon ‘happy birthday’ marilyn monroe style. fail! i know it’s cliched and annoyingly girlie, but the 3rd of july marked the one year anniversary of my break up with bleue, and it totally threw me. and yeah, i can rationalise til my hearts content over my situation, i can write a hundred songs, and i can struggle continuously with this whole ‘remaining friends’ thing. but in the end, the sheer fact of the matter is - his impact on my foundations was so tremendous that i will always find this extrication a sore point. even in twenty years time, even if i find an equally amazing mate, he will always remain my ‘grand passion’ (as my mama calls it). and i will just have to deal with that. listen to my album ’stiletto’, which i wrote whilst with him for more insight… and keep an eye out for my upcoming album ‘you’re a good man, despite what the grafitti says’ for the post break-up stuff! i am an open book so it seems. then again, you probably already knew that.
as i lay in my bed for ALL of sunday - tossing and turning, eating chocolate and watching crap tv - i remembered some of the things i intended to do, but didn’t get round to. this is a common thing for me - my head is so full of inner-monologue, work and uni thoughts, and constant ideas over how i’m gonna take over the musical world, i often forget the little things. oh, and on this particular occasion, i forgot to study too… remembering sometime around 11pm on sunday that my next essay is due in 4 days and i have still got 4 days of reading to do. once again - fail!
have asked for another extension. bad look, hannah, bad look!
i read AFPs blog today - http://blog.amandapalmer.net/ - specifically the most latest entry on lady gaga. i agree with everything she says (how unusual, smirks)… ‘freedom’ within pop is surely a rarity or even an impossibility? given the pop-machine lady gaga works within, i think she does what she can to maintain some semblance of grounding… but really, she has created a beast, and must ride it for a few years before the likelihood of any freedom occurs! i would much prefer AFPs level of success than lady gaga’s. ANY. DAY. OF. THE. WEEK! if gaga inspires and ‘allows’ people to express themselves more, no matter why or how, then it’s a good thing. but it got me thinking about a few things… unrelated to gaga, but equally interesting…
first off - my 12 year old self. i inhabit such a strange paradoxical world of forward motion, intrinsically fed by doom and nostalgia yet hurtling forward with such velocity that i barely remember last week… and it is at age 12 that the events that lead to my doom and nostalgia occurred, and on the flipside also triggered my kamikaze attitude to life. but at 12, i did not know this yet. i was just a normal kid… i played in the street, cut all my barbies hair off (and dyed it pink, gave them eyeliner, and make them all rock-chicks), struggled with my social standing at school, went horse-riding, played ‘catch & kiss’ and loathed it, developed boobs but resolutely refused a bra until it became embarrassing, and wanted to be a zoologist when i grew up (a dream that was shattered at age 16 when i flunked chemistry). i was not the loud extrovert, i was not the confident performer, i was not the kid people thought would be a rock star. the only thing that connects me to my 12 year old self is that i’m still that stubborn and opinionated girl that would argue with her family until everyone was crying…
grins.
eight years later the ramifications of the events of my 13th year came to fruition and the course of my life changed so dramatically i can barely reconcile it. whilst amanda palmer’s inner 12 year old is jealous of lady gaga… my inner 12 year old is so incredibly proud that the adult hannah has reached a potential that the 12 year old didn’t even imagine. all i can say is this - i have lived, good god i have lived - and i don’t regret a fucking thing. now that, my friends, is freedom.
oh, and on the subject of amanda palmer - someone said to me the other day ‘don’t be too much like her, just be you’… pfft. i was wearing corsets on stage before i’d even heard of AFP or the dresden dolls, i was given my uke before i knew they were famous for anything… and even though i started playing the piano because i admired AFP, i’m pretty sure that is where the similarity ends. so, folks - just because i dig her, and we have a definitely similarity with regards to sass, don’t go making me feel like this association is somehow detrimental. i am who i am and am very secure in that, i’m not trying to be somebody else. i dig vivaldi, but you don’t see me wearing a wig and writing concerti now, do you!?!
my saturday night ended with a snog from a gay man. life cannot get any better. really - hot + zero risk of heartbreak = perfect man!
thanks to everyone one who came on saturday, really appreciate it. even though i probably forget to say so enough.
L&L
xxx
Hann
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2 July 2010
if it were 1950, i’d be in a padded cell having shock therapy, and maybe even a lobotomy…
since it ain’t 1950, and no healthcare professional seems to care how fucked up i am… i get wasted, blog, cry an inordinate amount, and get myself tattooed instead. ace. the only thing i wish i had, but don’t, is valium. then my life would be complete. smirks.
i am a raggedy edge these days… a bit of survival here, a little destruction there… and i am held together with defective sellotape. then again, it has been like this for a good few years now. perhaps this is my equilibrium? this madness is my norm…
d’oh!
amidst the sway of this artistic catharsis, i have a few pleasures that provide grounding against the backdrop of drinking, mayhem, self-destruction, and bad choices. walking my dog moose truly is the best therapy i know… his joy, especially when on a walk, is so infectious, it will lift even this cynical soul. moose has a play-date with a deer-hound tonight - yep, my dog has a date… i am half amused at this, and half vaguely depressed that my dog has a date and i don’t. not that i’d know how to act on a date anyway! maybe i’ll pick up some tips from moose. grins.
the other thing that helps externalise some of the bullshit in my head (aside from songwriting), is writing poetry. i don’t proclaim to be a writer, and i don’t write it for publication or anything… but prose and poetry are good at getting large volumes of words outta my head when i don’t have a guitar around. if you care to read some of it, head to http://www.hannahreinvented.blogspot.com
i’ve never given out my poetry blog address before. weird to do it now, when i am at my most volatile! some of it is pretty hard going and probably not easy to digest… but then again, what’s in my head ain’t that easy to digest either - so just think how i feel!
and, my dears, the paradox is that i am going to see twilight: eclipse tonight… to disappear into a movie theatre and attempt to distract my buzzy brain for 2 hours is such a relief. sometimes you just need to vege out and watch crap. genius is a burden i tell ya. smirks.
as always,
L&L
xxx
Hann
**********************
28 June 2010
train parties and the search for oblivion…
like many musicians, my self-destructive behaviour is kinda a given… it’s part of my charm. smirks. when you walk up to your favourite bartender (the one who gives you nice hugs and has great abs), and ask for ‘a shot of something that will fuck me up’, and get given a double shot glass with 5 different alcohols in it… you know something’s up, right? right!
wait, i’ve jumped ahead of myself here… let me rewind to Lyon at the beginning of the week *whirring rewind sound*
my gig in Lyon was an absolute blast… not only did i get to have a holiday in a beautiful city, but i got to play my first french gig - tres awesome! the white hotel room did not render me useless due to an over-abundance of philosophical thought, and i almost managed to get through the trip without writing anything. on the day of my gig though, it was a hot hot, and i stupidly did not keep myself hydrated… resulting in a case of severe dehydration and exhaustion after i’d played. this meant no celebrating and an evening/morning in bed. all i can say to that is ‘d’oh!’. it’s ok though, i celebrated the next night when i found an absinthe bar! grins.
my forward motion in weeks such as this scares me a little… i do not slow down, look back, or even throw a sideways glance to my periphery - which means a lot of you get neglected. a regrettable necessity on the most part. i’m not apologizing, but i do wish i had the cerebral capacity to make contact, rather than just engulfing y’all in this all or nothing self-indulgent blog-fest.
by friday i was heading to a field in dumfries to play a wee private festival. camping and i have never seen eye-to-eye, so i had equipped myself with a fancy new tent and an airbed - i know, i’m a diva. by that evening i was drunk in a field, listening to other drunk people play music… and by the next day i was the only sober one in a field full of drunken people, and by the night time, i was having to listen to a bunch of drunk people *attempting* to play music. the other drunk people didn’t care, but my sober ears hurt. it was a laugh though. i was shoved in a slot in between bands, but had some lovely audience members, and some wee kids dancing away in front of the stage - so that was actually a redeeming feature, even though i don’t usually like kids. and a big shout out has to go to nicola black for making time to see me play even though there was lots else going on, and to phil, the awesome sound man, for making time to set my sound up even though he was needed in the band tent. it’s these little things that make fields full of cowpats, gross longdrops, and sunburn bearable.
the pepper-steak pies from the pie van were pretty good too.
now, this brings me back to sunday. there was a certain amount of end-of-time off work depression, combined with exhaustion, and a healthy dose of artistic prerogative involved in the events that transpired, but it all started out with a train party…
my edinburgh to glasgow train-parties are legendary… it’s usually bottles of M&S bucks fizz and some plastic cups, but this time it was pre-mixed cans of whisky and dry - strong muthafuckas they were too - tiny little cans with 2.5 shots in each - outstanding! by the time i got to glasgow i was half-cut… and managed to amuse my taxi-driver enough that he gave me a discounted fair - now that, my friends, is rock and muthafuckin’ roll! the rider drinks at the aragon kept me warm, and some awesome friends and fans showed up, making the night an absolute blast. there’s nothing like playing to a packed room to sober you the hell up, mind. i realised 1 song in that i was perilessly close to not remembering the words to songs, and that instantly makes you stand to attention. it’s ok being drunk on stage, but fucking up and looking like a wanker because of it ain’t so cool. i think i pulled it off, but well, that’s really for those folk in the room to judge. so, please, feel free to judge!
post-gig adrenalin and more free drinks (and some awesome craic on the drive home with Paul Gilbody & Paula Cuccurullo) ’spirited’ me back to edinburgh at the witching hour. i should’ve gone home at this point, but y’know - when you’re pumped and full of stuff you shouldn’t be, you just can’t help yourself! now, i’m a sucker for punishment, but having to watch your ex (and perennial muse) snog some bird in your favourite pub is kinda pushing even my limits! y’know, i’ve become a firm believer in ‘what you can’t see won’t hurt you’… i don’t advocate that course of action, but i have come to rely pretty heavily on it, for fear of cerebral combustion at dealing with everything head-on… but having it forced down my throat was… umm… painful. yep. so, in an ever-so-courageous manoeuvre, i ran away. haha, i am so very proud. but not before downing another 4 drinks. what’d i say about self-destructive behaviour? smirks.
life it seems, like lincecum, throws you curveballs (please excuse the baseball references, it is my one non-musician-like vice!)
so, what’s my therapy? perhaps i could write another self-indulgent girl-with-guitar angsty piece of crap that reviewers mock (and probably rightly so), or maybe i could just chill, watch the new episodes of true blood season 3, order pizza, and watch the sox/giants ball game i was supposed to watch last night… and then maybe in a couple of days when i have quelled this pain in my soul and defined some less cliched responses to my situation, could i then write a song that is worth something, or at least lay some words down on paper that aren’t so fucking burdoned by this shite.
can’t you just see the drag of those undertones dripping off your internet browser right now? it’s gross isn’t it? hell, just shoot me now!?
joy to the muthafuckin’ world. amen.
L&L
xxx
Hann
**********************
19 June 2010
the white room…
“note for musicians & humans alike: don’t expect praise without envy until you’re being eulogized” - Amanda Fucking Palmer
once again, AFP speaks the truth. can I hear a ‘hallelujah’ to that?!
empty hotel rooms are excellent breeding ground for philosophical thought. which, given my proclivities for such anyway, the thought of having even more space for it is both daunting and appealing at once.
at this moment I am eating smurf-shaped haribo and contemplating my pasty knees against the bleached white linen of my old town Lyon hotel room. there is something appealing about this transitory space.
I have my guitar, I have my journal, and I have free wifi - tres bon!
perhaps I will write a song? or maybe these paper thin hotel room walls will put me off? maybe I’ll just keep watching the wrestling (as it’s the only thing I can find on the tv in english)… or maybe I will just revel in the endless possibilities of this stark white room…
tonight, I don’t seek praise (with or without envy)… just some white room revelations! au revoir!
L&L
xxx
Hann
**********************
24 May 2010
Merci, vous êtes vraiment super!
well, i am doing my final handbag clear-out before heading to Lyon tomorrow. have dug out my spare euros, notified my banks of my impending departure, and have written dog-walking notes for my flatmates who are being kind enough to look after wee moose for me. i still can’t breathe, and am a snotty wee beast (yay for the folks on the plane with me, huh?!), but it is abating, and i am hoping that some serious wine-drinking and steak-eating will appease the flu gods
i am hurriedly learning some french - i must learn the damn language properly one of these days! in fact, i may include a french module in my degree, so it gives me extra impetus to actually pass!
anyway, i have shit to do before the flight tomorrow, so this is just a mini-blog! think of me at 6.30pm (french time) on monday - i will twitter my arse off - so check it out! www.twitter.com/hannahoreilly
L&L
xxx
Hann
**********************
15 June 2010
simple is ok, no?
please excuse my verbosity this week. no wait, don’t excuse me… if you don’t like it, you can just fuck off. (no apologies, hannah… just remember what bleue taught you).
i’ve been thinking a lot about innovation, about the emphasis that is put on creating ‘new’ and exciting things… especially the pressure put on artists to come up with something completely unique all the time. and i realised how this FUCKS ME RIGHT OFF! seriously, it has all been done before, none of us are completely unique, and the only thing we can really offer up is a new mash-up of the variables and maybe a relatively unique voice (something that is, if you’ll excuse the term, ‘god-given’)…
oh, and also, where do people get-off thinking that i have to give a shit about what they think about my music? as an artist i do not expect you to listen if you don’t want to… so, the least i expect of you as an audience member is to stop listening if you don’t like it rather than insulting me. am i allowed to review my audiences and slag them off if i don’t like how they reacted? no… because i am supposed to be grateful for every pair of ears, right? BULLSHIT! now this rant hasn’t come about because of any particular incident, i have just had residual thoughts about it for a while now.
there is a bunch of music reviewers in glasgow that go under the guise of ‘bluesbunny’. they don’t think much of me. well, they just have contempt for my ‘conventionality’. amusing really, they seem to be the only ones who would describe me as conventional. now, don’t get me wrong, i don’t mind them thinking this, nor do i mind that i’ve only ever got mediocre reviews from them (in both reviews they have given me kudos for vocals, but are bored by my subject matter) - in fact, i kinda dig them for calling me on the whole self-indulgent girl-with-a-guitar shit. the two sets they have witnessed were both heavy with ‘relationship songs’, but why should i sing my ’show stoppers’ in every set just to appease these fellas? if i am feeling self-indulgent, or just want to wallow in a beautiful melody for a while, why not? but i can’t avoid the nagging pressure this puts on me to somehow surprise people or metaphorically slap people in the face during a performance. all of a sudden i am pondering tailoring my set to try to cover all bases… which inevitably just makes me unhappy because it takes away from why i make music in the first place - for me.
so, my question is - why can’t a simple appreciation for a beautiful melody be enough? why must you insist i jump through hoops to keep YOU entertained or else you call me boring? it disheartens me i suppose. fair enough, i enjoy singing my serial killer song, my killed a man song, my orgasm song, or the songs that make me tear-up… but that’s not all i am… i’m not averse to doing gimmicky ‘killing folk’ sets, but eventually i will get bored of this, and i will withhold it out of spite. i realise that in order to make money out of music, there is a certain amount of appealing i have to do to grab an audience… but to be honest, i’d rather have a small audience of people that appreciate my music in all its guises, than have a large audience that limit me to just what they fancy.
i’ve never been too good at being at the whim of others (unless of course it’s a bloke, then i appear to be a frickin’ contortionist when it comes to their whims!)… on the most part i have an overwhelming desire to do the opposite of what you are expecting if you set me expectations. moreso if they are unrealistic. as an adult, this feeling has abated some (hence me keeping my job for so many years)… but the desire is still there. i don’t want to rebel against you, audience… i don’t want to pander to you, i don’t want to hate you for only liking the ‘funny stuff’, but i also don’t want to bore you… i want you to love what i do because it is what i love to do. i want a simple melody to be enough, i want you to appreciate those (annoying) ‘relationship songs’ because of what i went through to write them, because they are my soul on a plate. i don’t want to have to filter everything through a veil of ‘innovation’, simply so that you stand to attention…
sometimes i don’t want to make you start, i just want to sing a song and actually feel it. i don’t want to start writing with a set of expectations in my head - this will not help me write anything of quality. i don’t want to want to please you all… but the sad fact of the matter is, even though it is unlikely that i will care what you think of my music - everyone is entitled to their own opinion - there will always be a little part of me that wants people to like me. i’m sorry, bleue… it is a loathsome behaviour, i know - a throwback to my insecure teenage years i’m sure… to quote you - ‘it would be simpler to care less’… so true.
then again, perhaps it is my fault? perhaps i am just not performing my ‘boring’ songs in a manner which allows the audience to connect with them? ah, yes, that’ll be it. smirks. sarcasm and self-deprecation are fun!
for those who take the time to scratch my ‘conventional’ surface, and end up giving a shit - i thank you. for those who scratch the surface and don’t find what they are looking for - thank you for trying. for those who scratch the surface and are scared shitless - good luck to you… and for those who don’t even bother to extend their claws - screw you, you are not worth my time.
amen!
L&L
xxx
Hann
**********************
14 June 2010
indulge me, if you will…
i often gripe about the general state of idiocy around me, or partake in general music-related diatribes… however today i am going to be more specific. i’m even going to name names (le gasp!).
now, as i prepare myself to be shot down for defamation, let me preface this with these words - i am only speaking out because i actually have a vested interest in music events in edinburgh working and having longevity, and also because without constructive criticism, these folk ain’t gonna learn! then again, perhaps i am being optimistic to believe that shit changes…
since i first arrived in edinburgh i’ve been wanting to play the leith festival - i lived my first 4 years here on that side of town, and think the concept of the festival is great. so, when my friend and fan Martin Lennon hooked me up with the music coordinator of this years festival, i was totally stoked! so, back in february I emailed… and at the beginning of March they agreed that they liked my stuff and I would be playing the Iso bar - date tbc… my mid march i had not heard anything more, so emailed back… and the 17th June was confirmed… at which point i asked whether it would be suitable for a solo or a band gig. no response. so, i emailed and called, but to no avail. so i assumed it would be a solo gig and went about advertising it. then at the end of April i got an email saying that they’d fucked up and the Iso bar was actually double booked on the 17th, so could they offer me another date… i, of course said ‘of course, anything to allow me to play’… but that is the last i heard from them, so by mid-May i was emailing and calling weekly again. no luck. on June 4th i finally managed to track down the music coordinators mobile number and stalked the mofo - given that it was 2 weeks from the festival starting, it seemed to be cutting it fine somewhat! so, i was offered a support slot on the 13th as an alternative - not ideal, but i liked the girl (Plum) i was supposed to support, so i was ok with that. so i went about promoting this gig - i even took half a day off work to go on Leith FM on the 9th June to promote the crap out of it. dedication, much? however, it took them 1 week further to update their website adding my name to the event. fail!
then on the afternoon of 10th June, 3 days before the event, we got an email advising us that there would be no PA provided at the venue for us and that we would have to provide our own. as my drummer so aptly put it ‘that’s like selling a holiday but asking you to provide your own airplane’. i couldn’t agree more. by this stage i was sick with flu and my ever-evaporating faith in this festival was dwindling to a vague ember. Plum required a full PA and sound-engineer due to her complicated set-up, and was away on holiday so couldn’t organise one in time (and had emailed them weeks ago asking about this anyway, but had had no response). i could have thrown something haphazard together, but wasn’t entirely convinced by my health, so was erring on the side of bailing. Plum agreed. we bailed. we both wrote to them expressing our disappointment at the organisation of the event, and advising of our withdrawl.
i hate bailing on gigs, and have even sung with tonsilitis (march 27th at argyle bar!)… but my enviable patience had been testing to its limits here! the point of me blogging about this is simple - all it would have taken was some simple organisation. why get someone who sucks at organising stuff to organise something so important? booking gigs requires a modicum of common sense, paperwork, or at least some semblance of a schedule! it just pisses me off that it was something as simple as admin that fucked this gig up.
so, advice for leith festival - next year, find someone who is good with admin to be your music coordinator… and not someone who couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery. sadly, i am not the only one who will not be partaking next year as a result of the diabolical cock-ups this year. sad really, something so simple is getting in the way of some good giggage!
ok, rant over.
shit happens.
i have some outrageously awesome gigs coming up to console me - i play the 21st June in Lyon, France - on an open-air stage (if you happen to be in Lyon at 5:45, pop down to Park Raspail in the middle of town). then i play a private festival in dumfries on the 26th June - one lucky member of my street team is getting to come with me on this one, in thanks for music services rendered - man, what a prize! then i play the final day of the west end festival in glasgow on the 27th at the aragon on byres road. win!
i feel the need to off-set the relative negativity of the first half of this blog… perhaps with something light and uplifting? ummm… yeah, so i can’t think of anything! having done 13 gigs/open mics in the last 2 weeks, i pretty much hate my own music, am sick of my own voice, and don’t want to think about light and uplifting! so, on that cheery note, i shall bid you adieu!
until next time, my pretties…
L&L
xxx
Hann
**********************
8 June 2010
pepper spray and the harpy…
i dig blog titles like that, the obscurity amuses me. then again, the weirdest shit amuses me. for instance, the bouncer at one of my regular haunts decided to demonstrate an arm lock on me… it hurt… so i burst into a fit of giggles. hurt me, and i will laugh. apparently.
i am a weird girl.
my dearest bleue has a song called ‘pepper spray’, it’s one of those tunes with a melody so simple yet so pervasive (or should that be persuasive? smirks), that you are humming it for days after. or maybe that’s just me. anyway, i woke up singing it - even though i haven’t listened to his album in a couple of weeks. so, yeah, if you haven’t figured it out yet - i’m a depressive, and my crazy ass moodswings are most likely the reason why i write such good shit, but they are also responsible for inexplicable crashes, funks, manic highs, and unavoidable lethargy… so i have little coping mechanisms to help me stay functioning in a world not meant for such ‘variety’ (grin)… and one of those is sound-tracking my life - i make myself playlists over the course of a week or a month that track my moods, then i listen to them back and celebrate both my alacrity and my inertia in equal measure. i’ve never told anyone i do this before.
i am an all or nothing girl. i am a flash-in-the-pan girl. you will either know nothing about me, or be burdoned by my candour. but in the end, all it really is is assumptions and a calculating picture of what i choose to enlighten you with.
couldn’t you just slice that righteousness with a knife? smirks.
yeah, so i’m in a bit of a funk at the mo. the inevitable consequence of the dissipating adrenalin from last weeks Bitter Ruin support gig i should imagine. see, this is why success and enjoyment breed such dread in me - i already live on a rollercoaster, why must i add more belly-wrenching action to the mix. i hurl just fine on my own, i don’t need help.
verbosity is sexy and hot, no?
wow, my apathy is rampant and outstanding! haha, i dig my own irony…
ok, so if you haven’t guessed already… i am the harpy in question. half woman, half bird, all crazy. dig it.
revel in my madness, folks… who knows how long it’ll last. oh, yeah, and come to my gigs - i play the Leith Festival this coming Sunday (13th June) at 8pm at the Iso bar. come and begrudge the world with me!
L&L
xxx
Hann
**********************
3 June 2010
crazy lesbian boob signing + the defining moment…
if i were to say that signing crazy lesbian boob was the highlight of last night i’d be lying. not to say it wasn’t an amusing aside - i somehow think she got more out of it than me. don’t get me wrong, it gave me a laugh… but last night’s Bitter Ruin support slot was punctuated by far more life-altering moments…
take, for instance, the moment on stage when the song ’stiletto’ evoked spontaneous mid-song applause (i can only assume it was cos those crazy kids were getting off on hannah the psychopath?)… amazing feeling!
or, as i stood at the back to watch Bitter Ruin’s set, an overwhelming thankfulness came upon me. you might wonder why that’s so special… but the sheer fact of the matter is that i am a misanthropist with a gigantic ego… being grateful doesn’t come easy to me! but last night i truly was. it was so refreshing to find an audience that clicked with me, and that seemed thankful in return. a big thanks to the audience members, to any new fans i may have garnered, to Georgia & Ben from Bitter Ruin for giving me a shot, and to Jim Byrne… oh, and HUGE thanks to Danyell for being my gig-buddy, to Colin for hauling ass from Edinburgh, and to Kenny & friends for being the nonchalant ones at the back, and to my earring twin - love ya sister! a big hello to Caitlin, Rosie, and Mark - it was lovely to meet you, and thanks for helping me sell my merch! xx
ok, love-in over… i’m gonna make myself sick!
so, here’s the plan - i’m gonna start a kazoo-revolution. an underrated instrument if ever there was one! if you ever come to one of my gigs, please bring a kazoo… if we kazoo hard enough we could take over the world! mwa-ha-ha-haa! I am actually going to go and try to find a manufacturer of personalised kazoos - because that definitely has to be my next piece of merch! would you buy one if i sold them on merch tables?
to anyone asking about gigs last night - my memory failed me then, but according to my gig page my next edinburgh gig is 8th June at the Regent Showcase (who knew?!), and my next glasgow gig is 27th June at the Aragon on Byres road. if anyone is in Lyon in 2 weeks, i’ll be playing there too - oooh, check me, international woman of paradox!
lots of love & laudanum to you all, you feckin’ made my week!
xxx
Hann
p.s. according to my latest fan, claire, the highlight of her night was making sex noises along to ‘valium country’ next to her mum. gotta love a bit of embarrassing noise making! dig it!
*********************
2 June 2010
ragged… like a fox
well, tonight is the night - the support gig for the tremendous Bitter Ruin @ Ivory Blacks in Glasgow. i’m tired. so so tired. and nervous. ragged… like a fox. but i intend to take some rescue remedy and some redbull and blaze on through!
i was supposed to revisit my ‘gender in art’ essay at lunchtime and write a few hundred more words… but my brain is fried and all i can think about is the gig tonight… although that isn’t strictly true - i have been having the recurring ‘what if i won the lottery’ daydream all morning. here’s what i’d do if i won anything over £1million…
… first i’d get myself an account at Adam & Co - the posh bank, get a platinum Amex, and appoint a financial advisor. then i’d quit my job (well duh!)… then i’d hire my friend Sarah to be my personal assistant - her first task would be to source the best mobile business technology on the market and furnish herself and me with it!
i would then begin the hunt for my ideal property… something out of town, but not too far - modest lodgings for me and moose, but with outbuildings that could be converted into a high spec studio/practice space, plus a ‘party building’… oh, and it must have land enough to hold a wee festival every year. hannah-stock will rawk!
then i’d buy myself a volkswagon combi van - get it fully restored and get a porsche 911 engine installed! i would have it set up to be my tour-mobile and give it an amazing quirk-rock paint job. wicked sweet!
once my initial selfish desires had been met, it would be time to get philanthropic…
1. i’d pay my mumma back, i owe her 20k i reckon, so it’s high-time i pay her back… plus i’d pay off her mortgage so that she didn’t have to keep working.
2. i’d buy my brother and his family a house, so that the pressure was off them. plus i’d fly my brother and his wife over to the UK for an anniversary trip (without the kids!)
3. i’d pay off my dad’s mortgage, so that he only had to work if he felt like it…
4. i’d find the most deserving animal charity in scotland and give them a bunch of dosh…
5. i’d offer free recording time in my studio to musicians i liked…
then it would be time to start my company - a record label/PR company designed firstly to promote my own music, but sustained by offering a bunch of useful musicy services - practice space, recording space, producers, PR coordination etc. with that kinda money, i could buy my way to number 1 in no time
oh… and then i’d pay off my gargantuan debts and live happily ever after. awww i really don’t need much, but having my own house and being my own boss would be swell.
ok, daydream over… time to work for another couple of hours, then drive through to Glasgow and FREAKIN’ ROCK THAT SHIT!
L&L
xxx
Hann
**********************
30 May 2010
i take visa, mastercard, cash, and… massage!
i had the best end to a gig EVER tonight - a neck massage from a hot stranger. oh yes, an evening at the Elbow Open Mic was made even better than usual by a fellow with spectacularly good hands. *flutter*. i gave him my CD in return. in my opinion, i made out like a bandit!
so… i may be persuaded to take massages as payment for my CD in the future… IF, and only if, you give as good a massage as Lyle
well, it’s my uber-important support gig for Bitter Ruin on Wednesday at Ivory Blacks in Glasgow, and i’m actually a little nervous! i don’t ever feel nervous any more… occasionally i get a flutter or give myself a hard time… but this is the first time in yonks i’ve felt the nerves kick in fully. lets hope i can harness that mofo! if y’all can make it on the 2nd, that’d be well-awesome 
ok, this is a short one, i wanna get to bed before all that shoulder tension kicks-in again!
xxx
Hann
**********************
24 May 2010
i am ‘the antidote’ apparently. well, that goes with the melancholic genius theory anyway…
“A perfect marriage of melody and lyrics….a true antidote to the utter mediocrity of pop idol et al” – Paul Tasker, Celtic Music Radio, 2010.
what a lovely comment - am super lucky to have such awesome feedback. it was an absolute pleasure playing live on Celtic Music Radio on Wednesday May 19th with Paul and Callum hosting. although i had a less than enjoyable drive back from glasgow after my exhaust pipe partially fell off on the motorway - super car fail!
so… please, allow me to ‘fix you’ if you are broken - if you have ever watched Pop Idol/ American Idol or How To Be A Boring Teenage Skank Queen ™… and been disheartened by the musical dross that has spewed forth… listening to my music will apparently fix your eardrums
i managed a name-drop on Celtic Radio for Bitter Ruin (www.bitterruin.com) and the support gig i have with them on Wednesday 2nd June… so hopefully that will illicit some ticket sales and glasgow lovin’. they really are fantastic, and i am very lucky to be opening for them. *swoon*! BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW - www.bitterruin.com/shows.html
with my usual alacrity (smirks), i have been busy researching possible tour dates/places for our now named ‘Nouvelle-Écosse Tour’ of France and Canada. Andy has been tied into an ‘i-will-be-hannah’s-roadie-if-hannah-does-the-boring-booking-stuff’ deal, and we are working on getting Andy’s presskit and photos up to scratch. whilst Andy fiddles with his iPhone, miss hannah actually uses hers to start the world domination. i am finding it hard to be patient, and regulate the timing of my approach to the canadian promoters… i want to keep the momentum going, yet know that i can’t really contact them until after their 2010 programmes are over and they’ve had time to recover! yet, i want to be able to start making provisional travel bookings etc while it’s cheap! i suppose these are the logistical struggles facing all touring performers. but secretly i kinda like it… i enjoy the challenge… it’ll make the tour even more triumphant once en route!
on a personal note, i appear to be having a prolonged mexican stand-off with the sandman… usually my bouts of insomnia are punctuated by a whole day of sleep, or some kind of catch-up… but not this time. I am now on day 10 of 3-5hrs sleep per night and am becoming what many would describe as ‘a vegetable’. my reaction times are slow, my memory is a shambles, and my grades will inevitably suffer. i’m still alive though (obviously), so it’s not all bad. back to the doctor next week to beg for some valium methinks.
recording of my next solo acoustic album ‘you’re a good man, despite what the graffiti says’ is making progress, albeit slow progress. i forgot how long it took to record anything more than a demo… and just never seem to have the solid blocks of time needed to do it justice. time for a priority re-shuffle methinks!
anyway, i’ve bored myself to death with this blog, so out of fear of losing fans to boredom, i shall bid you adieu for now!
L&L
xxx
Hann
**********************
19 May 2010
bitter ruin love + me and mr valentine…
ok, super duper awesomeness abounds! i got the Bitter Ruin (www.bitterruin.com) support slot (along with Jim Byrne), and will be playing with them in Glasgow on Wednesday June 2nd! Please go and buy tickets - they are only £8 and you not only get to see the awesome ‘on the brink of world domination’ band Bitter Ruin, but you also get to see me! bonus! seriously though, if there’s ever a gig i need support at, it’s this one. this is kinda a huge deal to me. so pretty please come along! i will subsidise all my guests by buying them a beer!
there will be some transport through from Edinburgh provided too - so please let me know if you need a lift!
in other gig news, i have also been confirmed to play the Rowchester Music Festival in the Borders in July, so much camping madness is in store!
now… the tours coming up! dunno about you, but if i had the last name ‘valentine’, i’d be totally and utterly sorted in this world. it makes me think of the silver screen - of a time when the arts were revered. or maybe i’m just thinking of rudolph valentino? either way, it fits.
why the tangent, you ask?
his name is andy valentine… he is an understated, and underrated edinburgh singer/songwriter. and he is my new touring buddy! i am playing in Lyon in June as an experiment, just to see how it is playing on the continent - if all goes well, then i plan to start organising annual Lyon to Monaco mini-tours - taking singer/songwriters over and maybe doing swapsies with French artists? i dunno, it’s all just foetal in its conception, but it seems like an awesome way to combine music and my love of France all in one joyous bundle. plus, there will be wine and rare steak, and i would travel the world for such!
so, yeah, me and andy will be heading across to france sometime later this year, or maybe early next, and he will also be joining me on my east-coast canadian tour in June/July next year! we WILL take over the world - seriously! one gig-in-a-field, one mini-france-tour, one shite-open-mic at a time! HUZZAH!
i wish i had a surname like ‘valentine’…it’s seriously cool. or ‘monroe’. aww, now i’m getting all noir on y’all! hahaha
ok, i’m on my 5th night of less than 5 hours sleep… so am literally the walking dead. off to take some pro-plus and prep for my Celtic Music Radio appearance tonight (10-11pm with Paul Tasker 1530AM or online at www.celticmusicradio.net)
L&L
xxx
Hann
**********************
14 May 2010
am i old enough to be doing anthologies already?
apparently, yes!
once a year i play at Out Of The Bedroom @ The Tron… i have a nostalgic fondness for this wee open mic, as it was the first place i ever played in Ed. and it was also the scene of ‘water-gate’ - the now infamous evening when i was barred from The Waverley (OOTBs previous home) for demanding a glass of water! (don’t worry, i got my own back, all my friends steal the beer glasses outta there whenever they go!) hah! balance restored!
last night (13.5.10) i played an anthology of songs - 1 from every year i’ve been here - it was quite a task, and like a trip down memory lane, not to mention a weird experience re-learning the old stuff! i also recorded (drunkenly) the first 5 songs of my set for a wee EP - The Eve Sessions II… i release these sporadically to raise cash and to amuse people with my drunken ramblings. I managed to sell 6 copies last night, so i am well on my way to being able to afford my web hosting bill (i will have more of these wee drunken gems at my various gigs/open mics around town - only £2).
the set list was as follows -
1. adam & eve - 2003 - the one where i call adam a pussy.
2. elemental angel - 2004 - the drunken year, some pretty strange songs!
3. dirty angel - 2005 - thanks to andrew clover for this one
4. lovely bones - 2006 - the only love song you’ll ever hear outta me
5. strange friend v.II - 2007 - i re-jigged this 2004 classic and re-released it as something quite different.
6. vertigo - 2008 - the descent into insomnia is a sad and bitter road.
7. syllables - 2009 - this was was especially for Sonya, who is my biggest fan - she even sang along!
the set was finished off with a kazoo show-down over the song ‘killed a man’ - it was pure maniac genius! dig! thanks to Matt James and ‘random drunk guy’ for the kazoo harmonies.
‘if i give you a kazoo, it is because i love you’
tee-hee-hee
aside from turning my ankle in a flailing fail down the tron steps, it was a great night!
in other news…
i am still lobbying to play support for the wonderful Bitter Ruin at their Glasgow gig on June 2nd. even if i don’t get to play support, i will still love them - they are wonderful. you should all go and see them and buy their album… ok? OK!
i have had confirmation from the french promoters about my gig in Lyon on 21st June - honest to goodness, they were so wonderful to deal with - even offering me a bed in their home to stay in! love it! methinks i need to gig on the continent more often…
i have a couple of radio spots coming up - am on Celtic Radio on 19th May promoting the Festival for a Fiver on 29th May in Glasgow… and am on Leith FM on 9th June - just promoting myself in general follow me on twitter if you want to know when exactly i’ll be on - www.twitter.com/hannahoreilly
ok, time to dispense of this wretched blog… just as i have dispensed with 90% of my capital letters, and much of my punctuation! HUZZAH!
xxx
L&L
Hann
**********************
5 May 2010
substance & the cult of the melancholy genius…
aristotle believed that melancholy (a negative trait according to humoural medicine), was actually associated with ‘genius’ - the burden that must be carried by such self-consciousness! and so was formed the image of the isolated and morose artist - producing works of astounding genius, but at a cost.
you can see where this blog is heading, can’t you?
my life thus far has been about creating substance, both for my own fulfillment, and also so that i don’t disappoint anyone. i reckon my veneer is pretty sorted - to put it crassly - i can fake it. performance is, after all, what i’m all about. but as an adult, i am consumed with the desire to back that veneer up with something equally exciting and worthy - not that i don’t think i’m a half-decent humanbeing inside, but i always get the feeling that people are disappointed in the reality of me… as if it’s a let-down after the sparkle of the outside. maybe that’s just me and my insecurities about my substance, my genius, my worth…?
i am at uni for a second time so that i can keep my brain active, and so that i can gain substance through knowledge…
i play music because it is emotionally enriching, and because it gives my feelings tangibility…
see a trend here?
i get a lot of flack for not being terribly original, for not pushing the boundaries of music - i’m not avant-garde, and i don’t care. i don’t play music to push my own instrumental boundaries, i don’t play music to get noticed, i don’t play music to change the fucking world. i play music because i need an outlet, because i need the release, because i enjoy the substance and tangible evidence of me that i create. i perform because i am all about creating evidence. have you got it yet? it’s all about me! the fact that audiences enjoy it is just a lucky bi-product.
if you don’t like my self-indulgence, don’t listen. simples.
there is something about the creative and unhinged that is well-attractive though, eh?! i am enthralled by the broken and the damned. we are kin.
it is no secret that i am far more prolific when i’m hurting - hurt = the desire for release, art = release. people are always telling me to ‘write a happy song’ - hah, as if i’m doing all this for them - retards.
the art is completely selfish. the act of recording, releasing, blogging, gigging, and touring - that is for you. hopefully it means something to someone out there. that’d be nice. if not, it doesn’t really matter in the scheme of things, because my songs are doing their job for me - they are saving my arse! I am currently recording another solo album, to be amusingly titled - ‘you’re a good man, despite what the grafitti says’ (’good man’ for short), and i wrote this as the sole liner note -
‘this album is the scraps, the rags, the love… it is my bones, and my heartbeat. it does not exist because of me, i exist because of it. so, do not walk away sad, brim with the hope that only the broken can muster. to my muse, my avant-guardian - i love you’
a toast - to every ragged melancholic genius, to every person that appreciates our creations, and to every retard that simply doesn’t get it. i salute you.
L&L
xxx
Hann
**********************
29 April 2010
time off? what’s that?
so, i didn’t think i’d have much to report on in my three weeks off from gigging… but news and drama ain’t ever very far away from me!
by the end of my first ‘week off’ i had already played 3 open mic nights, started planning a canadian east coast tour, booked tickets to Lyon to partake in this years’ Fête de la Musique, attended a RSNO performance of Shostakovich’s fifth symphony, sung at the top of my lungs to a gracious and starry sky in Killin, AND sound-engineered the legendary UK band ‘Roachford.
can you even fathom the amount of WIN in that?
see, i’m one of these folk that can make a decision very quickly. i am the polar-opposite of my father in this respect, and exactly like my mum. i mentioned my desire to play somewhere other than the UK via Twitter (www.twitter.com/hannahoreilly - join me!) on weds 21st. my pal Linzi from Beaujolais country in France said I should come and gig there… maybe even for the Fête de la Musique on June 21st. by thursday 22nd april i had booked my plane tickets to Lyon and my hotel and was busy trying to learn enough french to approach venues and the arts council! moral of the story? if you need a decision made quickly, get me to make it!
i am also planning an east coast canadian tour for june 2011 - will hopefully be in touch with arts councils in New Brunswick & Nova Scotia in the next couple of months to try n’ organise things! am trying to coerce my poor unsuspecting family members into being tour managers for the week, but we’ll see how that goes! if you know anyone in the east of canada that digs acoustic music, send them to my reverbnation page (www.reverbnation.com/hannahoreilly) and i’ll keep them updated via my mailing list.
before i ramble on any further - can i just say - Shosta-fuckin-kovich, man! his fifth symphony made me tingle head-to-toe. outstanding!
i spent a weekend relaxing (read: getting drunk) in Killin - the highlight of which was singing full-tilt around a bonfire into the starry night… after having imbibed half a bottle of rum and half a bottle of vodka. win! i highly recommend this form of holiday!
and then, a complete surprise - the band Roachford popped in on the open mic night that i was running at Whistle Binkies on monday night and played a set. i saw their name on the list and thought that they were just some cover band - SOOO surprised when Andrew Roachford walked in. honestly, i probably appeared super rude cos i was so goddamn nervous of having to sound engineer them, i panicked! oh dear! it all came right in the end though, and they didn’t sound half-bad either! *swoon* talk about epic - how often do you get to sound-engineer your 90s music icons?! legend!
so there you have it. ‘time off’ for me means something different to most i reckon!
in gig news - i play an anniversary gig at Out of the Bedroom (@ the Tron, Edinburgh) on May 13th - a year after my last performance (when Liam Gallagher popped in on my gig). I’m going to try to play mostly new stuff - which means practicing a lot! and on May 29th i play the ‘Festival for a Fiver’ run by Theoretical Records @ 13th Note in Glasgow.
oh, also, my Leith Festival date has been shifted, but I don’t know to what just yet - so will update you all shortly!
if you get a chance - shimmy over to Jym Ponter’s myspace (www.myspace.com/howevermonger) and listen to the tracks from his new album ‘moriarty’. dig, baby, dig.
ramble over. i have an essay on renaissance painters to write. boom!
xxx
L&L
Hann
**********************
19 April 2010
conviction…
the older i get, the more i realise that it doesn’t matter what we do with our lives - as long as we do whatever we are doing with conviction. take music for instance… someone accused me of being snobbish towards people playing covers. i personally don’t play covers - i don’t have the time nor the inclination for them… however, if other people want to play them, who am i to care? what i resent though, is being subjected to covers played without conviction! if your heart is in it, then i will not fault you - even if you massacre the song, or sing oasis (ok, so maybe i’ll fault you a little for that). but if you get up and sing without any passion, and simply regurgitate the song, then it is more than likely that i’ll dislike it… and even more likely that i’ll challenge your motives. what is the point, after all, if your actions have no conviction?
i am not snobbish about covers, i am snobbish about motives… about conviction.
(but as i said to someone the other day… i don’t TRY to look down my nose at you… it’s just that i am taller than most folk, so it’s hard not to!)
someone that has BUCKETLOADS of conviction is the beautiful and quirky songstress Amanda Palmer (www.amandapalmer.net). AFP (Amanda Fucking Palmer, as she is known), was due to perform as Evelyn Evelyn (the world’s only known conjoined twin singer/songwriter duo) - her side project with Jason Webley, on Saturday night at Oran Mor in Glasgow. but here we reach a little bump in the road, for the volcano gods had all but scuppered this plan. i had been following AFP on twitter as she got stuck in Iceland as the volcano erupted, and her mini iceland adventures and desperate pleas to get out of the country in time for her shows. she managed to get to glasgow. jason and her crew did not manage to leave new york! i got to her gig in Glasgow thinking that she would just do a solo show… but we go SO much more than that!
as informal as one of my own gigs might be, AFP was in and out of the audience, compering the opening slots, and generally just fluttering around like this was any other day. yet she was entirely without her show. so when it came to her time to perform, she decided that she would try to do a slimmed down version of the Evelyn Evelyn show by herself. we didn’t know what this was going to end up looking like… but 97% of the audience were excited to find out. it transpired that she used the audience and support acts as crew and managed to create some kind of weird panto-gig version of things! Jason Webley performed the whole show with her via Skype (on a laptop being held by an audience member); the puppet show usually performed by Sxip Shirey was recreated by a talented artist in the audience who drew the characters and held them up on stage; AFP narrated and in some cases acted out the scenes that ‘would have been’… and ‘Bitter Ruin’, the support act, did piano interludes and backing vox.
the result? a surreal gig that showcased how technology and the internet can is in fact the coolest thing on earth. by the end of it, i had forgotten that Jason wasn’t actually in the room, as the sound via skype from Boston was amazing, and AFP handled the delay amazingly well. I left the gig feeling both stunned, amazed, and impressed. most artists would have given up and just done a solo show…
conviction? hell yes! soooooo much heart! and that is why i loved this show - i did not get what i paid for, so by rights i should be pissed… but i got something so full of passion, that there is no way i couldn’t love it.
so… moral of the story? do what you love, and love what you do. even if people don’t like it, they’ll at least respect you for it. unless ‘what you love’ involves killing folk
in gig news - i played the awesome Glasgow Art Club on Thursday 15th April… this place is stunning - a big drawing room in an old stately terrace, wall-to-wall with paintings, and with the best acoustics in town! run by the lovely Dan Luck, this night should be far more well-known and popular than it is - the atmosphere alone is worth it! the crowd was small but perfectly formed, and applauded me for using the word soporific. gotta love an intelligent audience! big love to those who came (included kenny & gaynor - i love that i’m #90). will definitely be back to play there later in the year!
xxx
L&L
Hann
**********************
14 April 2010
dig the halt bar, glasgow…
having fully recovered from the infamous tonsilitis, i ventured through to The Halt Bar in Glasgow on Saturday 10th April to support Rob Himself on tour. i was accompanied by my resident ‘groupie’, Róisín (which in itself was an adventure). the Halt is in the west end, kinda my favourite area for gigging (it’s got the Captain’s Rest, The Liquid Ship, The Aragon, and The Halt)… and the vibe was well-cool.
after some post-soundcheck guitar playing in the park we went for food and ended up in the most bizarre greek pizzeria, eating by candlelight. it was kinda romantic. much to our amusement. it was the candlelight that hid the melamine tables and the plastic fruit accoutrements from being quite as hideous as they actually were.
when we arrived back at the halt, this was also resplendent in candlelight… it appears that Glasgow knows how to do ‘mood lighting’ super well. dig, people, dig!
i was on third, just before the headliner, and was lucky enough to have the best crowd. not only did they listen, but there were plenty of them, AND they actually seemed to dig it. plus, it was one of those rare gigs where everything just seemed to fall into place beautifully. the crowd was ace, the vibe of the venue was awesome, the promoter was cool, a groupie was present, and most importantly - my voice was in top form (despite the pizza), and i was totally in the groove…
other amusing moments from the gig included f*cking with a stupid drunken man, introducing ourselves as ‘bambi’ & ‘noah’, and generally being evil to him. it was just too easy not to.
long live amusing yourself at the expense of others!
xxx
L&L
Hann
***********************
28 March 2010
trippin’ at the hide…
i write to you again from a tonsilitis haze - the joys of getting sick on the weekend and having to wait for monday to see the doctor. fail.
my band Augustalia played last night at The Hide (underneath the Argyle Bar in Marchmont)… and despite our disabilities (the venue being double-booked, me being unwell, no monitors, and our drummer breaking a tom skin at soundcheck) we pulled it together rather fuckin’ well i reckon!
i was tripping on nightnurse.
gash, the bassist, had to sit in front of the stage to hear himself.
steve, the drummer, couldn’t hear any of us (so naturally, must be telepathic).
ade, the lead guitarist, couldn’t hear my guitar, so played his own versions.
yet, for the majority of the set we held it together. a sign at how tight we are becoming, and how we can triumph over adversity. and absurdity. i mean, tripping on night nurse? what was i thinking! haha
big thank you’s to Lewis the promoter, Hamish the sound dude, and David the pub owner. i had a really good time, despite my grimacing. tonsils suck.
a huge shout out to our support band The Remnant Kings also, i love your style - rawk!
in other news… i’ve started singing and playing a little bit of bass in an experimental trip-hop a la portishead kinda band too - so keep your ears peeled for that too. a completely new direction for me, and i haven’t played bass in 15 years, so a great challenge. dig!
ok. time to pass out while watching the Dancing on Ice final. hah!
L&L
Hann
xxx
***********************
26 March 2010
the swirly adventures of hallucinating hannah…
i’m hallucinating.
i think.
have the crazy headspins and fever associated with tonsilitis… oh, and the giant tonsils. sad hannah. i crashed out at about 8pm last night and woke at midnight - thinking it was about 6am, I started to get ready for work… only figuring out my error when I could only find infomercials on the tv…
fail.
i have both a jam with an experimental band, AND a gig with my band Augustalia tomorrow… singing seems unlikely, and at this stage standing up without shaking and/or fainting seems unlikely too. but we will see - I may just have to hum at the jam, and stay seated at my gig… meh. too swirly to think about it. come to the Argyle Bar in Marchmont - sat 27th march - 8pm to find out how i’ll manage to play!
amid my swirls i discovered that the ticket-gods had released more tickets for Evelyn Evelyn’s Glasgow show. last time i checked it was sold out… so to discover this, especially while i was feeling so pish, was a simple joy. i love amanda palmer and jason webley with a passion. win! ticket on order, let’s hope my dog doesn’t eat it.
i need soup.
where are the soup-making gods when i need them?
wait, gods? i mean men.
where are the soup-making men when i need them?
my ex-husband made supremely good soup. leek and tattie. i might have to resort to making it myself. how rude. have some homemade stock in the freezer. so there’s no excuse. except for the fact that i’d rather have it cooked for me, by some nice man who wants to woo me with soup.
wooed by soup.
now there’s a concept. if only it were that simple. i’d just like to be wooed fullstop. blokes seem to let me do all the work. perhaps they see how mental i am and realise the risk of making an effort. perhaps chivalry is dead. perhaps nobody likes me in that way. perhaps i’m always gonna be ‘just a fuck’. i’m pretty sure my mental state and the residual jymmy-grief would stand in the way of me having a relationship at the moment anyway… but still, it’d be nice to have someone desire me in that fashion. perhaps there are blokes out there that do feel that way about me, but they are scared off by my mentalness? oh well, if they can’t handle my mentalness then there is no point now, is there?! in the immortal words of AFP (amanda fucking palmer) ‘we all have our bad habits. my habit is a criminal need for freedom’. i hear ya, girlie, i hear ya!
ok, you’ve probably already noticed that this blog is gonna be blatantly by the hand of a sick person - i.e. it’s gonna ramble like a mofo. deal with it. i cannot produce anything more coherant. in fact, i’m having trouble even sitting up straight, so the fact that i’m typing at all is a miracle. like the crying madonna. oh yes. perhaps my hallucinatory monologue will amuse you? hope, tis a fine thing.
i got some royalties yesterday. i love the wee email i get quarterly from the australasian performing rights assoc. telling me that there will be wads of cash arriving in my bank shortly. it always seems to come at opportune moments. this time round it has come just in time to buy me a new laptop… and a trip to paris. win. i love the prs. i love wads of cash. and quite frankly, i love being paid for my art. oh, and i love taking money off simon cowell. can i hear a hallelujah? *smirk* see here for rants on the subject.
*pause for thought*
(ok, i just used my pause to nip to the loo… where i got a headrush as i stood up, lost my balance, and promptly smacked my already sore head into the melamine toilet door. wow, undeniable fail!)
back to the matters at hand. i just created a new press-kit - it’s just an interim one, as i am working on a more interactive, more exciting EPK… but this one has more info and more of my ‘i don’t give a shit about you’ humour… which, personally, i think is hilarious! pfffffft.
oh, for anyone who wants to get some awesome hidden tracks, ONLY available if you join my mailing list, then go, join my mailing list here! i will be giving away 4-5 brand new songs demo’d on my iPhone… they will be a rare and treasured thing - i assure you!
well, i’m about to pass out… so this is ‘hallucinating hannah’ over and out!
L&L
xxx
HH
**********************
22 March 2010
a wee jolly down the M8…
susanna macdonald’s new song ‘here come the maniacs’ (about the crazy drivers on the M8) came to mind on sunday avo as i tootled toward glasgow in my wee red corsa, ‘cassady’. it appears that ’sunday driver’ means something different than it used to (wow, sentences like that make me sound so old)! i was playing with the splendid Nicky Carder, and Róisín Tuohy at the aragon on byres road.
now this little place is funny, it’s a bit of an old man’s/sports pub… yet every time i play there it has a great vibe, and i’ve collected some of my most awesome fans there… so as much of a paradox as it is, i love it still. sunday’s line-up was outstanding - highlights were:
- warming up my voice by singing harmonies to mumford & sons in the car on my way there…
- nicky’s ‘trannie voice’ (sore throat!)…
- róisín’s blunt introduction to her set - ‘this song’s about killing prostitutes’…
- the impending craze to go all ‘gangsta’ and smack your inner thighs while shouting ‘BOOM!’…
- eddie travelling all the way from his flat around the corner to see us play…
- being paid for playing (it’s rarer than you’d think!)…
- the super-amusing texts róisín received on our way back to edinburgh…
- the resolution róisín and i have made to write more songs about incest…
a big ‘thank you’ has to go out to Chris (from the amazing band Hercules Mandarin), for organising the Acoustic at the Aragon night. we love you.
in other news - i have been confirmed to play the Leith Festival on 17th June… and have a bunch of other gigs lined up (both solo & with band)… so it’s already proving to be a busy year. Augustalia will be playing at The Hide @ The Argyle Bar in Marchmont on Saturday 27th March, and we have the pleasure of having The Remnant Kings as support (we love them)… so ’tis totally sweet and awesome! This venue is cute and sweet and bohemian, and the nights are being put on by my wee pal Lewis, and supporting the nights and his venture as a whole is super important to me - SO COME ALONG! It’s FREE!
if you’re stuck for something to do on Friday 26th March, come along to my dear pal Susanna Macdonald’s CD launch at The Big Red Door, Lady Lawson St, Edinburgh - 8pm - £10 (incl. CD). it promises to be all kinds of awesome!
ok, i will end here, because (just between you and me), this blog has been ENTIRELY TOO CHEERY for my liking!
fuck off,
L&L,
Hann xx
**********************
15 March 2010
the drunkness that was…
you don’t turn 30 every day. well, that’s the excuse being proffered by my many well-meaning friends after having witnessed the supreme drunkness that was Hannah O’Reilly on friday night. i rarely apologise for my actions, and don’t worry, i’m not going to in this case… but if i was a drunken arse, please forgive me… i remember very little! i am yet to be briefed by my bandmates on how terribly i played, but the sheer fact i was able to stand and strum the guitar still is a miracle in itself!
my intentions to stay relatively sober until after i’d played went out the window when my depression took a swing south and i realised that without ‘jacks’ help i would likely walk out of my own gig without it. a crutch was needed, and mr. daniels came to the rescue. after a few swigs and some delicious cake (baked by the fabulous Georgie Williamson of the band Neoviolet), i felt ready for the evening. i was kinda cut up about Tom not being able to do my sound engineering… but Hartman came through and did a bonza job with the cobbled-together Ark PA system. many promises (some drunken, some not) were made on friday 12th march, but some of them more memorable than others - i began by promising Tom that i’d rape him if he didn’t go and kill himself this week. only time will tell if rape is an adequate incentive (politically incorrect, much?!)
as for the other promises, i think i may have promised a lot of things to a lot of people… but it doesn’t count if you don’t remember it, right? help!
at some point money was put into my hands… which was a bad move, as i proceeded to spend half my bands takings for the night on weapons of mass hannah destruction! lesson to be learned - give the takings to a more sober bandmate as soon as possible! intend to make it up to them with beer and what little cash i have left. and some grovelling!
big shout outs go to the bands that played -
Townhouse - www.myspace.com/townhousesound
Neoviolet - www.myspace.com/neoviolet
The Laymanites - www.myspace.com/thelaymanites
and the the more sober members of my band Augustalia - www.myspace.com/augustalia
i realise that not everyone in the audience will have appreciated all the bands… to them i say - ’screw you, don’t you get it? that gig was ALL ABOUT ME, and pleasing y’all was not on my agenda. learn this!’ i find peoples musical tastes are often so narrow that they miss the richness that can be gained by opening ones ears to difference genres, and different bands (i.e. not just ye mates band!). i would say that i am one of the most hard to please people on earth, but that i will usually find something to appreciate (e.g. that band sucked, but their bassist was tight as fuck). but hey, i’m weird and like everything from nz dub to bach’s oboe concerti, and from NIN to rihanna’s latest album… so yeah perhaps my approach isn’t the norm. and as i said, it was my birthday and i could do whatever the hell i liked. so there.
thank you to everyone that came, and a big thank you to my ‘fans of the month’ - mr donald tiso (for being a completely randomly acquired fan and for buying my CDs), and the lovely sonia (for knowing the words to my songs!) - you guys are super special and will be rewarded with special fan-only downloads shortly!
ok, ramble over. i think i may need more than the obligatory 1 day for hangovers these days - ahhh, the joys of being ‘old’. grins.
L&L
xxx
Hann
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4 March 2010
Augustalia in a Box…
the 3rd of March 2010 marked not only the birthday of one of edinburgh’s most infamous singer/songwriters (and poet of unadulterated genius) - Jym Ponter, but also a terrifically busy day for Augustalia. i sent a cheery ‘ain’t you dead yet?’ birthday message to Jymmy in the morning, knowing full-well he wouldn’t be awake yet…. and then proceeded with my super busy day - a proud moment! myself and my lead guitarist Adrian went on Leith FM at 4pm and did a wee interview and a few songs… and i giggled like a complete girl the whole way through. geez! who knew, eh? nervous laughter has a lot to answer for. i’ll be having ‘words’ later. after a mad dash across town, a quick change of clothes, some emergency first-aid to some re-occurring blisters, and letting the dog out for a piss, i was ready to head off to weegie-land for the band gig at le Box on sauchiehall street (or sausage roll street as the Leith FM DJ Dode Muir called it). my wee car, ‘cassady’ (named after the legend that is Neil Cassady) was sadly out of action for this trip - i snapped her handbrake off the other day. oops. thanks to a really rather annoyingly popular football match between scotland and the czech republic the M8 was heaving and grotty and it took us nearly 2 hours to get to glasgow. football cunts. bitter, me? never! to make things worse, we were told we weren’t getting a soundcheck because soundchecks had to stop early so they could air the football match. by this point i really didn’t care too much about anything… and was desperately hungry for some noodles… so amused myself by asking the barstaff to amend our band name to something that vaguely resembled, well, our band name! AUSTALIA, and AUUSTALLA were the two options on offer on the signs outside - neither of which pleased me much. the bartender apologised profusely and we amended the signs to Augustalia (aw-guhst-ahl-yuh ). round 1 to me. the promoter then arrived and fought to get us a soundcheck. much obliged nick q. round 2 to me. we then had a football match sized gap to fill, so went on the hunt for noodles. luckily for us, glasgow appears to be overwhelmingly kitted-out with noodle joints. with a pick a meat, a sauce, and a noodle menu, we conquered our hunger by means of the biggest plates of chicken satay noodles you’ve ever seen. round 3 to us! unfortunately this late gorging prevented me from donning the usual corset. fail. well, i could have put it on, but i would’ve puked on the audience, so i reckon i made the right call. i gotta say at this juncture, that i knew this gig wouldn’t be the height of our playing prowess, not because it was our first gig with our bassist, ‘gash’, but because i had a dose of the melancholies and couldn’t shake the funk enough to be as much of a ‘front-woman’ as i needed to be. oh well, sh*t happens (hah, i just starred out sh*t, but have the word cunts earlier on! that says a lot about me, really). despite the downer i was on, i still managed a sweet retort to a fabulous heckler in the front row - after he’d made some derogatory comment in relation to (i believe) me wanting to sleep with him, i told him that i would be thinking of him while i sang ‘valium country’ (our orgasm song), and i’d be ‘oooh, aaah, oooh…. faking it’. hah! he ended up asking me out on a date afterwards… to which i bluntly said ‘umm, no’. simples. round 4 to me. a 1am visit to the harthill service station to buy petrol and emergency chocolate rations concluded our strange fuckin’ evening!
i wrote 7 songs as part of FAWM this year… one called ‘lick up your daughters’ - so beware, politically incorrect songs will be hitting your ear-waves soon (they won’t let it on the air-waves), so i’ll give it away for free
peace off,
L&L
Hann (cunt and misanthrope)
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5 February 2010
Uh-oh… it’s February!
y’know how i warned you about how crazy february was gonna be? well, i am SO not ready for it… can’t i postpone?
well, no, generally you can’t postpone emotional outpourings… at least i can’t… they just tend to spill out willy-nilly. so far it has started quietly - creeping into my consciousness like a thunder cloud. i find myself thinking strange paranoid and wholly unstable thoughts… having panic attacks when confronted with nice or affectionate behaviour… and either not eating or eating too much. oh dear, girl, methinks we shouldn’t have held this off. oh yeah, and that’s another thing - i’m always talking about myself in the third person! shows the disconnection, eh!?
i have written and recorded my first FAWM song - ‘je t’aime, mais’. i managed to record this on my iPhone, using the fourtracks app and the handsfree earphone mic - sounds pretty decent.
i don’t know when i’ll get the chance to write another, am filling my days with distractions again. and study. and finding a flatmate. gotta stop that and just deal with this sh*te… right?
wish me luck!
new gigs posted for feb/march/april - come watch me - i like it when you watch
L&L
xxxHann
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25 January 2010
‘i’m not an alcoholic, i’m a musician’
is it just me, or do musicians have a certain predilection for being alcoholics? i know, i know, it’s just their creative sensibilities being crushed by the turmoil of this harsh world, leading them to drink… hah! but seriously… i’m starting to see a trend here.
I know first-hand how useful alcohol can be to distract, to numb, to induce memory loss… however my acute awareness of how addictive my personality is, has always saved me from the burden of being completely hooked on the drink. many moons ago i was involved with a very talented, beautiful, but broken and addicted musician. the alcoholism wasn’t immediately obvious… to me anyway. but eventually the tell-tale signs began to show - beer for breakfast; increased anxiety during stressful times unless beer (or scotch) was at hand; mixed-messages as a result of not remembering previous behaviour; an increased level of ‘i love you’s’ (especially when drunk); increased periods or severity of depression and suicidal incidents; and the scary bit - two distinct personalities depending on whether he was drunk or sober. it was like loving jekyll & hyde.
the thing that eventually struck me most severely, was the simple fact that you cannot trust anything an alcoholic says. everything is tainted by the fumes of their addiction. ‘i love you’ smells like scotch, and deception. tres uncool. as a result of this life changing encounter, trusting people in general is hard enough, but alcoholics in particular. for years and years after this experience whenever someone said ‘i love you’, i could literally smell the imaginary scotch, and the very words made me want to heave. ‘i love you is watered down, by the alcohol already in your mouth’ - song lyric (c) hannah o’reilly 2003.
unfortunately, i am most often attracted to musicians… and musicians are more often than not quite fond of the drink. therefore i am at an impasse, because it seems impossible to find a musician that doesn’t rely on the drink for some reason or other (i drink when i need distraction or a dose of self-destruction). whether it be a performance anxiety quencher, or a way to ease their chaotic and artistic mind, or just because of the usual ‘life’s too hard’ excuse… it doesn’t matter… it’s all a reliance in the end. that’s what scares me, no matter what the histrionics are, the result is the same - a notoriously unreliable, but mad-sexy human.
*sigh*
i’ve been addicted to stuff in my life… gambling when i was 19, and pain-killers in my 20s… and what i have learned over the years is that you’ve gotta want to help yourself. there is no ‘being fixed’ by someone else. you just gotta wanna do it. so, it is with trepidation and so many painful memories that i tip-toe around my beautiful musician friends, my beautiful alcoholics… letting them destroy themselves if that’s what they choose to do. trying not to become embroiled, or worse, hurt by their own self-destruction. i cannot let this happen again… it ruined me once, and i cannot let it happen again.
shine on you crazy lumps of coal. liver damage is so fuckin’ rock n’ roll.
xx
Love & Laudanum,
Hann
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20 January 2010
peu ancre (little anchor)
wow. i always knew that living my life this way would generate a certain level of trauma. but did i suspect that i would encounter so many years of it in a row? no, not so much. i put my heart out there on the line… and it was mauled like a fucking albatross in a fishing net. so, once more i am adrift. peu ancre - my little anchor deserted me.
i have a tendency to either deal with things head-on, or as in this case, distract myself until i have the capacity to deal with things head-on. i am in the middle of an archaeology module at uni and i simply do not have time to deal with the catharsis without risk of failing. so…
February Album Writing Month (FAWM) begins February 1st, and I will allow myself that time to go mental. so, yeah, watch out - i’m gonna be more mental than usual. lord help you all.
on the band front, we are enjoying our new bassist - Gary… we are practising the main set plus working out new stuff, so kinda exciting, no?! we will resume playing in February - watch out!
ok, back to the distraction… none of this ‘thinking about things’ bullsh*t. no no no no no. wish me luck with that one, folks!
xxx
Love & Laudanum,
Hannah
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